HOLY SHIT I THINK I MADE A FRIEND.
And I don't mean like 'I talked to the_suit_case
and she is awesome!' or 'font
PM'd me!'. I mean like a person who is actually physically present within the same geographic location as I am at the same time. A person who is not on the internet with me. What the hell is that thing called? Real life? THIS.
Let me back up: I work at Wal-Mart. I used to be a People Greeter (welcome to Wal-mart! ^_^) and now I am a cashier. Being a people greeter is REALLY FUCKING BORING. In my store it is one of the two hardest jobs to fill because nobody can stand it. I liked it all right (after the first three months of going slowly insane) and I was really good at it. I talked to people a lot. I used to play a game with myself--I'd compliment ten people on something about them--their hair or shoes or their kids or something! Something true. I got SO many smiles and 'thank you!'s. There were several letters to the store about me and how I was wonderful. Anyhow. I got to know some of people by face and some by actual name. This carried over to cashiering--I'm friendly and outgoing and there are people who will wait in my line because they want to be in MY line.
ONE of these people is a woman named Sabrina. I complimented her hair. I LOVE her hair. It's simple and yet lovely. She always wears it in the same way but it suits her. She's always smiling and I like when she comes into the store. So one day I told her so. I didn't know who she was at the time, obviously, I just said 'I don't want to be a creeper but I really love your hair. It's just beautiful.' And it went on from there. I would greet her when I saw her and I would tell her I was happy to see her. One day she told me her name (because she knows mine from the badge, obviously). I have always loved the name Sabrina and I said so.
Time passes, I greet her when I see her, which is less now because I cashier. Today I see her and I tell her it's good to see her--I haven't in a while! We chat about this and that and I mention yet again that her hair is beautiful (she kept touching it and I suspected she might have thought the wind had messed it up). We laugh for a bit because she said she really hadn't done anything to it--just thrown it up and gone out. I get a customer and I go back to my register. I keep an eye on her as she checks out a few lanes down because I want to wave goodbye and tell her to have a great day. She stops by me when she's done and I say this to her. I have customer but she tells me she wants to talk to me.
She gave me her phone number and said she wants to talk to me. That she always sings my praises to her family and other friends and she really just wants to hang out and be friends outside of Wal-Mart. I beam and blush and take it and am happy.
AND THEN I REMEMBER THAT THIS IS REAL LIFE AND ACTUAL PEOPLE SPENDING ACTUAL TIME IN THE SAME PLACE DOING THE SAME THING WITHOUT A COMPUTER SCREEN. SHIT WHAT DO I DO?
I am outgoing and people love to be around me...sort of. I am popular at work for being bright and funny and stuff. But I am so crushingly shy
. Ask Meg and Amy--I clammed up in Portland (with the exception of the day I got my twin and I kicked out of the hospital). I have no clue what to do with myself. I just. I am...it's like, what are they gonig to think of me if they spend LARGE amounts of time with me. Five or ten minutes, sure! A few hours? A day? OH MY GOD. I'm such a spaz. I have nothing in common with people. Things get awkward fast because I have no clue what to do with real people. I serioulsy have no 'real life' friends because I just... And I don't seek people out for just that reason. Painfully shy. Horrifically bad at small gatherings and long times.
WHAT THE HELL DO I DO? I knew I should have called in today when I kept the kids home. I should have told Chelle that no, no, I would stay home from work so she didn't have to stay up with them.
So. Um. I'm a little freaked out. I'm going to call her now and talk for a little bit, just to say something cute and then hang up. I just. Oh my god. I don't know what the hell I am doing.
SOMEBODY CALL HER AND TELL HER SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS.Sorry I have been so gone. I have been busy with beinghuman_rp. I know, I know! I'm sorry. But, hey, if anybody wants to play...also, we need more Koreans. Yesung is lonely! Or something!