ciircee: (Default)
Last night Ed and I talked. In part because y'all are awesome. But mostly because I couldn't stop pushing.

No, there is nobody else. I knew this before and it's not something I've doubted.

But last night he admitted that he didn't want to hurt me or the kids--didn't want to do this but it's something he needs. He knew pretty much when he brought the idea up that it was going to end in divorce. I'll probably be mad at him later but for now I'm not. Ed's messed up inside and he truly wasn't sure what was going to hurt more.

So. For now, nothing much is going to change. There's a lot for us to sort through and to do to make this easier on the kids. We're not going to rush this. This is not an acrimonious divorce. There is still a great deal of care. So, going forward with the knowledge of what is and what isn't and making plans with input from the kids. We'll get through it. Ironically, we'll get through divorce together.

Telling the kids was the worst thing I've ever done.
ciircee: (Default)
No matter how much I stay away from the internet, coming back in fits and starts, things aren't easier to deal with. And I figured that some of you are actually interested so. Update.

I feel I should make a 'the first cut is the deepest' joke here. )
ciircee: (Default)
RL Update: Things are not at all better. I'm not sure if this feels unreal or unavoidable now.

I meant to post all of this here yesterday but forgot about it once I got the poll up on LJ. So. If you'd like, there is an lj poll regarding Inception big-bang ideas right here. I could use ideas and/or working brains to do thinking for me.

And now, because I like to package asking you for things with fic, a bit of Finding Nino. This is for Leader, who once said she wanted to see Nino give in.

Let's see if I remember how to do this... )
ciircee: (Smile Toothless)
Guess who knows somebody who threw up on their laptop and ruined the ever-loving crap out of it! Guess!

(It's all of you reading this. Because I did that.)

(Spoiler alert!)

(Oh...I did that wrong.)

Yes, I threw up on Taiyo. Just days after my birthday my whole family--hell, my whole TOWN--got sick. There were several hospital trips for dehydration and the sheer inability to hold down, or in, any sort of water (let alone any kind of food). It was a sudden-onset thing and so I actually threw up on my laptop with very little warning that it could or might happen.

He died.

So that's where I've been--waiting for Ed to build me a new laptop. (Long story short: I can't use any of the other computers here for various reasons.) I know that the kids posted it on FB a while back but not everybody is friends with the childrens. Sorry if anybody was worried! Thank you for trying to check in on me!

This is just a quick note, btw. I have writing yet to do for [ profile] bigbang_mixup. I was doing it longhand in a notebook and my wrist is killing me.

(PS. If anybody wants to beta Inception fic, I would let you. I might cry because it's a totally new fandom to me and I haven't actually explored it due to LACK OF INTERNET but I would actually appreciate it.)

ciircee: (My fandom does boyhugging)
I really am not going to talk about where I've been for the past week despite my promises. It was not good and I thought sharing it would be like a bomb landing in your laps. Things are not actually bad--it was just a strong possibility of something kind of catastrophic. I'm fine. I should be around a bit Wednesday and much more on Thursday. Maybe even a bit tomorrow night.

Random five minute fic goes here. )
ciircee: (lone centurion)
Wow, so I have been SO GONE lately. It's...a long set of stories, to be honest. To sum up: Ed's family is fucked up. Mentally and physically. Some hospital-visiting and some courtroom-happenings, all in Minnesota.

Lot of court time due to our 'extra' children. We had to become actual foster parents because one of our extras technically lives in another county. Looooots of court-time and home visits and classes.

Ton of work because the seven-year-old needs an expander and it's gonna cost. Why you gotta be a not-the-fun-type of mutant, child?

Spending time with many kids--I have a third kid who keeps trying to move in. Her family is super nice and very sweet but she's at that difficult age. During the summer the extras have lived with us most of the time. So I just spent a ton of time with the kids--my own and the others.

Occasionally keeping a baby in my house! Skyla's little girl (Mia) has been in my care a few times. I might be keeping her overnights a few nights a week so Skyla can sleep since school is starting again. (Jeremy, her dad, hasn't had a drink since she was born so I'm totally hopeful on that front, too.)

And teaching the oldest child to drive. We spend a lot of time on the road and spent a few days in Iowa so she could visit her Anime Iowa friends. It was fun watching teenagers terrorizing the park in Hetalia gear. (My child was Chibitalia.)

MATT AT FIRESTONE IS LEAVING ME. I love my mechanic. He took over for Walter and I still miss him, too. Woe. That was not why I was missing at all--that's just something I found out now. Saaaaaaaad.

But anyhow--so busy that I literally have not been online for more than [ profile] beinghuman_rp in weeks. I haven't been on any messenger. I haven't checked my flist, either. Just. No energy for it. I'll be around more now and I'll poke at the flist but if something major is up, drop me a line.

I haven't even written a word of fic in ages. BUT. [ profile] rainbowfilling has/had a deadline for me so you'll see something later today--for now I'm getting my oil changed and my tires rotated.

EDIT: ABOUT MY RP. [ profile] beinghuman_rp has been rebooted. We now do month-by-month play (rather than week-by-week) and we've pretty much had a fresh start for most everybody. We're also down to just a handful of people. Sho and Aiba are both open (and I've heard Ohno might open up, too). Toma is open? KOREANS ARE OPEN. Seriously, Yesung is there. YESUNG. Come play!
ciircee: (the last one)
Had some seriously high winds up here on Wednesday, into Thursday. Were without power for a day. Trees down all over. One on car! (Thankfully, it didn't hit Ed's, which was right next to it). The kids took the pictures to school but as their friend Andrew had a tree IN HIS ROOM, they did not win the unofficial 'my damage is cooler than your damage' contest. Spent much of the last few days moving tree parts, sweeping up glass, getting the van taken for more glass (won't be done for a week, they're looking for 'used' glass) and working.

Thankfully the damage to the van is the dented roof, the rear side window and the rear windshield. It'll cost but it won't eat up all of our emergency funds. Getting the trees topped/taken down to stumps will probably do that! Beats them falling on the house, though.

ETA:Song for [ profile] flange5. She'll figure out why.

PIMPTASTICA! [ profile] shoneenclub is having another contest (their traditional June contest, but late!) I shall be submitting!

All I Ever Wanted


To convince you because I like to package my pimps with fic, I give you...

Random seven minute drabble! )
ciircee: (Misono laughing)
So Ed took the kids to see KungFu Panda 2 yesterday. Today Faith and Allie (nearly 16 and 13) were telling me about it.

Faith: Baby Po was in the raddishes! His mom died!

Allie: And then there was a baby noise and I didn't know what to do so I panicked and then I cried!

Faith: I just cried because it was sad.

My children, everybody.

Seriously, short drabble )
ciircee: (red-letter day)
If you ever tell me that you are 'trying to die' and that you have 'OD'd on a bunch of pain pills', I will call the cops so fast that they will be at your door before you can reconsider and make yourself throw up.

I will not wait three days to see if you are Jesus fucking Christ and going to be rising anytime soon.


If I don't know where you live, I will contact everybody on your flist until I find somebody who does.

If I don't speak the language of the country you are in, I will find somebody who can teach me to ask for somebody who speaks English and I will have the cops at your door ASAP.

And I will not let you make it my fault if you get in trouble for the cops showing up at your door. If you don't want cops checking up on you, don't tell me you want to die and have a plan and are enacting that plan. I promise you: I WILL CALL THE GODDAMNED COPS WITHOUT CONTACTING YOU FIRST. You might be second but the cops will be first.

(Ed has a friend who just pulled this. Ed waited a few days because 'well, it's happened before only not with the OD'ing and usually I get a call and I'm really worried'. So I called the cops. And guess who is yelling at Ed? Yeaaaaah. I'm going to fly to Cali and pimpslap somebody.)
ciircee: (Sweet Zombie Jesus!)
Yesterday Ben had a friend over. Yesterday, I had the shadow boxes down so I could try and take more pictures. Yesterday Ben's friend knelt on the long box and shattered it. MatsuJun...MatsuJun...was injured.

Today, once the theater has been put to order, he is undergoing emergency krazygluedesis. Ed is later going to do a brush-work modelcementrrhapy and, by the end of the day, we'll closeout with a little krylonenamelpexy. No matter what--much like Belt!Ohno and Headless!Ohno (even Cracked-Frosting-Goddamn-it-his-leg-was-NOT-OFF!Sho)--we will be keeping our beloved Jun-kun somewhere safe. Perhaps with one of the Ohnos in a box built for two.

*sniffle* Ganbatte, Jun-kun! You can make it!


May. 9th, 2011 07:35 am
ciircee: (Happyhappy!)
I have to leave for work but before I go: Arashi has a new album slated for release in July--CDJapan sent me the email this morning. No LE as far as I can tell.

And! Finally have a picture of my cookies from Flange!

Picture goes under here! )

I will get Ed to take better pictures when I can!

Seriously, I love my cookies to an insane degree. The kids are already fighting about who gets them when I die. :D :D :D They make me so very happy. My glittering, shiny, cookie!Arashi.
ciircee: (Default)
askdj;ldkj I AM NOT KIDDING.

Yesterday I got a package slip in the mail. As I'm expecting several things, I thought nothing of it and went to pick it up today after work.

It was not what I expected.

It was from Erica.


I actually might have even cried a little bit. I feel so loved and so honored and so...happy. Just plain, deep down happy with everything and everybody.

How on earth did I get so lucky that I got Arashi and her and all of you?

Erica, I'll send you a PM in a little bit (second day of Open House at school, have to go soon) but thank you. Thank you a million times. I love you.

I am so happy that not even a potentially not-able-to-be-glued-together Ohno can make me feel bad (I am hoping for the best. Stupid cat walking on shadow box and making it fall. Thank goodness Oh-chan was the ONLY casualty. Please work, airplane cement!).
ciircee: (LOVE)
My alarm failed to go off this morning so I was almost late for work. NOT ONLY did he take care of all my stupid Facebook games for me but he ALSO called me at work to tell me that Arashi was safe.

I got home to find an e-mail that said not to worry, my friends were safe too.

Best. Spouse. EVER.


Feb. 11th, 2011 04:21 pm
ciircee: (Sweet Zombie Jesus!)

And I don't mean like 'I talked to [ profile] the_suit_case and she is awesome!' or '[ profile] font PM'd me!'. I mean like a person who is actually physically present within the same geographic location as I am at the same time. A person who is not on the internet with me. What the hell is that thing called? Real life? THIS.

Let me back up: I work at Wal-Mart. I used to be a People Greeter (welcome to Wal-mart! ^_^) and now I am a cashier. Being a people greeter is REALLY FUCKING BORING. In my store it is one of the two hardest jobs to fill because nobody can stand it. I liked it all right (after the first three months of going slowly insane) and I was really good at it. I talked to people a lot. I used to play a game with myself--I'd compliment ten people on something about them--their hair or shoes or their kids or something! Something true. I got SO many smiles and 'thank you!'s. There were several letters to the store about me and how I was wonderful. Anyhow. I got to know some of people by face and some by actual name. This carried over to cashiering--I'm friendly and outgoing and there are people who will wait in my line because they want to be in MY line.

ONE of these people is a woman named Sabrina. I complimented her hair. I LOVE her hair. It's simple and yet lovely. She always wears it in the same way but it suits her. She's always smiling and I like when she comes into the store. So one day I told her so. I didn't know who she was at the time, obviously, I just said 'I don't want to be a creeper but I really love your hair. It's just beautiful.' And it went on from there. I would greet her when I saw her and I would tell her I was happy to see her. One day she told me her name (because she knows mine from the badge, obviously). I have always loved the name Sabrina and I said so.

Time passes, I greet her when I see her, which is less now because I cashier. Today I see her and I tell her it's good to see her--I haven't in a while! We chat about this and that and I mention yet again that her hair is beautiful (she kept touching it and I suspected she might have thought the wind had messed it up). We laugh for a bit because she said she really hadn't done anything to it--just thrown it up and gone out. I get a customer and I go back to my register. I keep an eye on her as she checks out a few lanes down because I want to wave goodbye and tell her to have a great day. She stops by me when she's done and I say this to her. I have customer but she tells me she wants to talk to me.

She gave me her phone number and said she wants to talk to me. That she always sings my praises to her family and other friends and she really just wants to hang out and be friends outside of Wal-Mart. I beam and blush and take it and am happy.


I am outgoing and people love to be around me...sort of. I am popular at work for being bright and funny and stuff. But I am so crushingly shy. Ask Meg and Amy--I clammed up in Portland (with the exception of the day I got my twin and I kicked out of the hospital). I have no clue what to do with myself. I just. I's like, what are they gonig to think of me if they spend LARGE amounts of time with me. Five or ten minutes, sure! A few hours? A day? OH MY GOD. I'm such a spaz. I have nothing in common with people. Things get awkward fast because I have no clue what to do with real people. I serioulsy have no 'real life' friends because I just... And I don't seek people out for just that reason. Painfully shy. Horrifically bad at small gatherings and long times.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO? I knew I should have called in today when I kept the kids home. I should have told Chelle that no, no, I would stay home from work so she didn't have to stay up with them.

So. Um. I'm a little freaked out. I'm going to call her now and talk for a little bit, just to say something cute and then hang up. I just. Oh my god. I don't know what the hell I am doing.


Sorry I have been so gone. I have been busy with [ profile] beinghuman_rp. I know, I know! I'm sorry. But, hey, if anybody wants to play...also, we need more Koreans. Yesung is lonely! Or something!
ciircee: (Happyhappy!)
XD Thank you everybody for the birthday wishes! I will get back to all of you asap (which for me, is never very s) but really, THANK YOU. I feel loved and cherished and warm. Thank you for putting up with me for one more year.

Because today is my birthday I thought I might share something with you--on Christmas day my sister Randa sent around an e-mail full of stories from and about our mom. This was my first Christmas and birthday without her and I thought...well, I guess I just wanted to share her with you. When I say that I had the best mom ever, I really mean it.

MOM: Memories From and About her Life )

As for me? There are so many memories I have of my mother that I don't know quite which to share that would get across the kind of mom--and the kind of woman--she was. I think the most telling thing, I think, was that I always knew I was loved and enjoyed. I KNEW my mom enjoyed who I was and loved me even when she wasn't enjoying me. Some of my earliest memories are of her sharing her nap (she spent part of my early years pregnant with my two younger brothers) with me and Chelle. LOL! Some of the only time she ever got to herself and she let me and my twin--in our sweaty, sticky kidness--cuddle up to her and crowd her.

I also remember that she kept her mother's last driver's license. I found it one day poking around and my mom said she kept it because she loved and missed her mom.

Anyhow! Thank you for letting me share that with you!

I love you guys and I'm glad to share today with all of you.
ciircee: (Sweet Zombie Jesus!)
Ed and I are awful.

Scene: Ed, Me, and Chelle-sama sitting on my bed. Ed and I having freshly woken, all warm and snuggled.

Chelle: I'm going to put the kids' presents under the tree.

Me: We've still gotta wrap them.

Ed: Hehhehheh.

Chelle: ?

Me: We bought the kids a bunch of socks and bras and underpants and pjs for Christmas.

Chelle: And...?

Ed: That's all we're going to put under the tree.

Chelle: ...but the wii?

Me: The kids think they know what they're getting. Possibly they've been snooping a bit. Possibly they're just greedy so we're just going to put that stuff under the tree and not bring out the other stuff until they believe that's all there is.

All: *mad laughter*

Chelle: Merry Christmas, kids!

Me: You know, we should open presents on Christmas Eve...

Ed: ...and not put the other stuff out until morning.

All: *dying* *tears*

Me: They would cry themselves to sleep!

Chelle: Oh, god, there is a special place in HELL for that kind of thing.

Me: *as Satan* Only socks and underpants for you!
*as self* Joke is on you! I'm an adult! I like those things!

Chelle: Tears taste like sweet, sweet candy.

Ed: Is this going on the journal?


We are an awful, awful family.

(No, we're not going to string them out until Christmas Day. Juuuuuust for a little while.)
ciircee: (Happyhappy!)
For those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving: Happy Thanksgiving!

For those of you who don't or who celebrate it at another time: Happy Ohno-eve!

And for those people who celebrate neither of those: Kim Yesung touches his bandmates' faces in the middle of the night after getting their hotel room keycard from their manager.

Life is good.

I love you.
ciircee: (Sweet Zombie Jesus!)
Last night was Albany's homecoming dance.

Faith, currently fifteen, attended with a group of friends.

I was at work and got home around midnight. The house was quiet and, while every single light DOWNSTAIRS was on the upper story was dark. I woke Ed as I came to bed and double checked 'Faith got home all right?'

"Yes," answers husband.

Now awake, he goes downstairs to make sure his computer is off and--let's be honest--check his Farmville and Mafia. I decided I shall do the same because it's not like I can sleep right away after work. He is back in bed by one-thirty and all is peaceful.

This morning?

Me: *sleeps in*

Me: *gets ready for work*

Ed: What should I make the kids for lunch?

Me: *offers suggestion*

Him: Well, that's if Faith is even awake. Or home.

Me: ...

Him: Well, at one last night she came downstairs and went out.



Me: Fifteen year old daughter leaving house at one a.m.? The TOWN curfew is eleven!

Him: Yeah. She said she hoped she didn't get picked up by the cops.

Me: *sporfle*

Him: She was just going to Brit's. Or Ashlee's.

Me: This is SO going in my journal.
ciircee: (Default)
I dropped my laptop by accident and now he is retarded. I hope Ed can fix him. For now, I am borrowing his computer. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, GOOD THINGS.

Meme from the flist (namely [ profile] honeypuffed and [ profile] gimmick_game): * Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper on their LiveJournal.
* Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper!
* Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!

My wallpaper! *swoons* It was a present from [ profile] tangiblewhimsy and I LOVE HER, OKAY? With spazzing and hearts and stuff.

Picture! )

Also! Also! [ profile] honooko wrote me fic! It is glorious. It is a beautiful, beautiful Sho/Ohno/Nino fic. It's so al;sdkjfl;skjdf HI, I LOVE YOU. It makes me a little speechless with pure joy.

AND! [ profile] je_fqfest started posting the fics today! The one written for ME was already posted. It's Ohmiya. It's Letters From Iwo Jima Ohmiya. I am so happy. It's masturbation and memories and porn and it is lovely. But I do recommend checking out the entire fest. It is going to be EPIC. Also: It's porn.

[ profile] je_ficgames is going to start posting soon, so be on the look out for that!

Finally: New Arashi album. I have the rip. I'm really loving it so far. It's kinda a new direction for them, though. More dance and Euro-beat than concert-hype-up. I like it, though. Oh, Junface. Nino, make the jazz hands and I'll be happy. Aiba, wtf? :D :D :D Oh-chan, ♥ as always. Sho! T-A-B-Oh,Oh is right.
ciircee: (u dumbass)

a;lskfjlsdkj I spent seven hours (SEVEN) treating my family for lice. Because Carol just mentioned today that Sierra and Junior have lice and have had it 'for three weeks! we just can't get rid of it!'.

Yeah, no.


ciircee: (Default)

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