I don't object to JunToshi--I have a hard time seeing them as 'married' as Ohmiya or even Sho/Nino. It's like Aiba/Ohno for me--they love each other but I can't quite parse 'in love'. S-seriously, Arashi named that album 5x5 for a reason. OT5.
As for the fic: I know what it's like to have a 'rare' pair that doesn't produce. At that point I usually end up writing my own but not everybody writes. And I'm sure the author is a sweet girl and a nice person. I just...I really hate the bashing. There are Ohmiya authors I won't touch with a ten foot pole because of the Jun bashing. It makes me RUN SCREAMING. I have spammed people with PMs about the horror of some of it (srsly? You're going to get Ohmiya together because Jun RAPES NINO? DIAF.).
A-and, I have written a little JunToshi. I drop fics all over LJ and never post them to my journal. THIS one was in a locked entry so, for the very first time ever, I am copying it to somewhere else.
Jun remembers—with an ache like an old wound, dull and shadowy—the time in his life when everything he felt hurt. He remembers all his rage, all his hopelessness, and all his fear. He remembers torturing himself with all of it, turning every bit of it over and over, touching the jagged-sharp edges. He remembers thinking it was all a mistake and you're nobody, that will never change and, most of all, they'll get sick of you and you'll NEVER belong, not with them, not with anybody.
He doesn't dwell on it anymore, rarely even thinks about it. But when it comes back, he doesn't finger the cutting blades. Instead he thinks about how Sho looked after him even when he told him not to, how Aiba relentlessly tried to cheer him up even when he growled. He thinks about how Nino used to provoke his rage and how he accepted it whenever Jun finally turned it loose on him. Mostly, he thinks about Ohno and how Ohno soothed him.
No matter what people expected from Jun, no matter what he demanded of himself, Ohno had never asked anything of him, never tried to make Jun respond to him. Ohno had simply been and had allowed Jun to creep under the umbrella of his calm and quiet care. Ohno had let him close despite all his prickles and, in turn, Ohno had been the only one he allowed to hold him.
"Why do they always want to use that footage?" Jun sighs, flipping through the notes for their upcoming interview. He understands the desire to of the hosts to go into the ten year history of Arashi, but he really doesn't need to see his teenaged angst again.
"Because they love me, and they want me to be happy," Nino tells him.
Jun flips him off with a smile.
Nino air-kisses at him and then wanders away to extract Aiba from a card trick gone horribly wrong.
Ohno comes to sit beside him, leaning heavy against his side as he peers at the papers in Jun's hands. Jun tilts them so that he can read them better and considers scolding him about his glasses. Ohno smiles at him. "Matsujun is calmer now," he says in his rumpled-soft voice.
"Hm?" Jun sort of doesn't want to talk about it.
But Ohno smiles at him again. "Matsujun is calm now," he repeats. He taps one long, elegant finger over Jun's heart. "Here," he says and then moves to touch Jun's forehead. "And here." His smile widens a little, warms a little. "It makes you happy."
Jun looks away, feeling a blush make its way lightly across his cheeks. "Yeah," he agrees so quiet that it's barely a breath. He lets himself lean against the way Ohno is leaning into him.
"I remember when you were like this," Ohno murmurs, taking the papers from Jun's hands.
Jun takes them back and tosses them on the table. "I was so horrible it's hard to forget."
Ohno shifts and Jun suddenly finds himself in a familiar place, tucked against Ohno, his head resting on Ohno's shoulder with a warm, warm hand running through his hair in long and gentle strokes. "You were my Jun-chan," Ohno says softly, with absolute conviction.
"Hm," Jun hums in agreement, relaxing and realizing only then that he's been a little tense, holding himself a little stiffly. He takes Ohno's free hand in his and breathes deeply and enjoys just being Jun-chan, finally just Jun.
no subject
As for the fic: I know what it's like to have a 'rare' pair that doesn't produce. At that point I usually end up writing my own but not everybody writes. And I'm sure the author is a sweet girl and a nice person. I just...I really hate the bashing. There are Ohmiya authors I won't touch with a ten foot pole because of the Jun bashing. It makes me RUN SCREAMING. I have spammed people with PMs about the horror of some of it (srsly? You're going to get Ohmiya together because Jun RAPES NINO? DIAF.).
A-and, I have written a little JunToshi. I drop fics all over LJ and never post them to my journal. THIS one was in a locked entry so, for the very first time ever, I am copying it to somewhere else.
Jun remembers—with an ache like an old wound, dull and shadowy—the time in his life when everything he felt hurt. He remembers all his rage, all his hopelessness, and all his fear. He remembers torturing himself with all of it, turning every bit of it over and over, touching the jagged-sharp edges. He remembers thinking it was all a mistake and you're nobody, that will never change and, most of all, they'll get sick of you and you'll NEVER belong, not with them, not with anybody.
He doesn't dwell on it anymore, rarely even thinks about it. But when it comes back, he doesn't finger the cutting blades. Instead he thinks about how Sho looked after him even when he told him not to, how Aiba relentlessly tried to cheer him up even when he growled. He thinks about how Nino used to provoke his rage and how he accepted it whenever Jun finally turned it loose on him. Mostly, he thinks about Ohno and how Ohno soothed him.
No matter what people expected from Jun, no matter what he demanded of himself, Ohno had never asked anything of him, never tried to make Jun respond to him. Ohno had simply been and had allowed Jun to creep under the umbrella of his calm and quiet care. Ohno had let him close despite all his prickles and, in turn, Ohno had been the only one he allowed to hold him.
"Why do they always want to use that footage?" Jun sighs, flipping through the notes for their upcoming interview. He understands the desire to of the hosts to go into the ten year history of Arashi, but he really doesn't need to see his teenaged angst again.
"Because they love me, and they want me to be happy," Nino tells him.
Jun flips him off with a smile.
Nino air-kisses at him and then wanders away to extract Aiba from a card trick gone horribly wrong.
Ohno comes to sit beside him, leaning heavy against his side as he peers at the papers in Jun's hands. Jun tilts them so that he can read them better and considers scolding him about his glasses. Ohno smiles at him. "Matsujun is calmer now," he says in his rumpled-soft voice.
"Hm?" Jun sort of doesn't want to talk about it.
But Ohno smiles at him again. "Matsujun is calm now," he repeats. He taps one long, elegant finger over Jun's heart. "Here," he says and then moves to touch Jun's forehead. "And here." His smile widens a little, warms a little. "It makes you happy."
Jun looks away, feeling a blush make its way lightly across his cheeks. "Yeah," he agrees so quiet that it's barely a breath. He lets himself lean against the way Ohno is leaning into him.
"I remember when you were like this," Ohno murmurs, taking the papers from Jun's hands.
Jun takes them back and tosses them on the table. "I was so horrible it's hard to forget."
Ohno shifts and Jun suddenly finds himself in a familiar place, tucked against Ohno, his head resting on Ohno's shoulder with a warm, warm hand running through his hair in long and gentle strokes. "You were my Jun-chan," Ohno says softly, with absolute conviction.
"Hm," Jun hums in agreement, relaxing and realizing only then that he's been a little tense, holding himself a little stiffly. He takes Ohno's free hand in his and breathes deeply and enjoys just being Jun-chan, finally just Jun.