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Kamen Rider Kabuto Retardary
For Meg, because I love her so and because June is sort of sucking for her. *Pets Meg* You get my first Kabuto anything ever. So if it sucks a lot...well...I'm leaving something in your comments anyhow that is even MORE retarded and much shorter!
Wanna Taste It
"That one," Tendou said, jerking his chin at one of the trays.
Kagami watched the street-cart vendor give Tendou a still-steaming taiyaki cake. It was golden-brown and smelled sweetly of vanilla. "I want one too," he said, digging change out of his pocket with one hand and holding the other out to the vendor.
"Kagami." Tendou's hand on his wrist made him look up as Tendou pushed his arm down. "Today, I'll share it with you."
"Eh? Really?" Kagami said in surprise as Tendou released him. Tendou usually had no compassion for his meager policeman's salary and insisted that he pay for his own food or, at the very least, demanded that Kagami pay him back somehow. "Wow," he said as Tendou neatly tore the fish-shaped cake in half. "Thanks!"
Tendou held his eyes as he raised one half of the taiyaki to his mouth and, eyes still locked, licked the custard out of the center of it. "It tastes sweet," he said. He licked at his lower lip, sucking the remnants of custard off of it. His eyes were dark and steady.
Kagami felt a little light-headed. "Tendou," he said, "Tendou…it's really rude to lick the pudding out first."
Tendou's eyes darkened even more. "Manners are wasted on you," he said and Kagami yelped as the other half of the fish cake was slapped into his hands. Tendou stalked off, highly reminiscent of a cat with offended dignity.
"I'm sorry," Kagami said to the vendor. "He's just…" crazy, he thought "like that some times. He's the guy who walks the Path of Heaven."
"I'm sure he's just upset about his mixed-metaphor," the cart owner said kindly.
"Eh?"
"You're going to pay for that, right?"
And Kagami realized that Tendou had stuck him with the bill after all.
Not that he minded treating a friend to lunch, Kagami thought as he walked into the Bistro La Salle with Misaki later that day. "Hiyori will give us a discount but it's still my treat," he told her as he ushered her ahead of him.
"Tendou-kun," Misaki said in greeting.
Kagami looked up to see Tendou sitting at his usual table with a plate already in front of him. "Tendou!" he smiled, willing to forgive Tendou's morning rudeness.
"Grandmother said this," said Tendou and Kagami resisted the urge to roll his eyes mightily. "The food you put into your mouth is indicative of all the things you are willing to put into your body." He raised his fork with a single, fat stalk of asparagus on the end of it. Kagami watched wide-eyed as Tendou took the entire shoot into his mouth and swallowed it seemingly without chewing. His lips quirked up in a slight smile as he set his fork back down. "Delicious," he said.
"My grandfather said," Kagami said, struck utterly dumb, "that eating asparagus makes your pee smell funny."
Tendou's smile vanished and then the man himself did, leaving his food still on the table and the door of La Salle swinging in his wake.
"Kagami!"
"Ow! Sorry, Misaki-san!" Kagami rubbed at the back of his head where Misaki had slapped him sharply. "Sorry! I'll… I'll just…order…something." He sidled up to the kitchen window and peered in at a giggling Hiyori and Juka.
Juka gave him a thumbs up. "Onii-chan can't easily win against you!" she said.
"But it's true," Kagami said, mystified, and took the tea cups that Hiyori thrust at him. "It does."
Somehow Kagami was both totally shocked and completely unsurprised to find Tendou sitting in Tadokoro's soba shop at dinnertime.
"Ah, Kagami," Tadokoro said, waving a little from where he was sitting across from Tendou.
Tendou looked up at him, scowling impassively, and slurped soba.
Kagami sat down next to Tendou and gave him an encouraging smile. "Wow," he said gamely. "That was a long noodle." Tendou's look went from glaring to wary. "You didn't even have to stop to take a breath," Kagami went on encouragingly.
Tendou set down his hashi and licked a drop of sauce from his upper lip. Kagami leaned closer, sure he smelled orange zest and ginger. "You know," he said, "I like hard noodles best. They say that hard noodles stay in the body a long time but I think they're healthy."
"Shall I make you dinner, then?" Tendou asked and Kagami swore that his eyes were glittering.
Really, he thought the strangest things make him happy. What he said was "Eh? But Tadokoro-san makes the best soba in Japan!" Tendou's slight smile dropped off into a thunderous glare and his eyes flashed jagged like lightening. The door to Tadokoro's shop was louder than the one at La Salle. Kagami looked at Tadokoro.
Tadokoro looked like he had a headache. "Kagami," he said, "bus the tables while I make you something to eat."
Kagami took the apron Tadokoro held out to him without question. "But," he said under his breath as he picked up Tendou's discarded dishes, "Tendou was already having dinner."
He ended up back at Bistro La Salle. Yumiko had called Tadokoro and Tadokoro had looked like his headache was getting worse and then Tadokoro had given him a box of dried noodles with instructions to bring them to Yumiko.
Tendou was in the kitchen with his sisters when he came in but he didn't look up. Daisuke and Gon were sitting at a table with a view of the kitchen and so, after giving Yumiko her order, Kagami joined them. "Hey, Kazama," he nodded in greeting, shifting the guitar case to the side. "Hey, Gon."
"Yuriko," she corrected. "What did you do?"
Kagami looked at her and then at Daisuke.
Daisuke raised both eyebrows and ducked his head a bit, peering at him closely.
Deciding there was no help from the former Drake, Kagami looked back at Gon. "What?" he asked.
Gon smiled at Hiyori as Hiyori gave her another glass of strawberry milk. She took a long drink, studying Kagami over the rim of the glass. Kagami waited patiently while she wiped her mouth and had a silent exchange with her partner. "The man who walks the path of heaven keeps looking at you like he wants something from you but I don't know what."
"It's like he…" Daisuke added, "like he…he…" he looked at Gon expectantly.
"What are you looking at me for?" Gon shot back. "I just said I didn't know. You're sloppy in the head."
"He's not the only one," Tendou said from behind Kagami.
Kagami looked up to see Tendou looming over him holding a glass of water. "Ten—" he started and then broke off in a high, shrill sound that he would have been hard pressed not to call a 'girly shriek' as Tendou upended the glass of water over his lap. "Ice water," said Kagami weakly.
"Ohhh," said Gon in an enlightened tone, "I know what he—"
Daisuke yanked Gon against him so that her ears were blocked by his chest and one hand, his other hand he slapped over her eyes. "Hey!" he said, staring at Tendou.
"Daisuke!" Gon protested.
"Tendou!" protested Kagami as he was unceremoniously hauled out of his seat.
"You're all wet," Tendou said, sounding as reasonable and implacable as ever. "You'll have to have a shower. At my house."
Kagami dragged his feet, trying to slow Tendou's inexorable onward march. "It's just water!" he yelped as manfully as he could given Tendou's death-grip on his arm. "It'll dry. I'll be fine." He was entirely unprepared to be tripped over his own feet, swung around, and crowded up against a convenient tree trunk. He didn't even want to know where Tendou found the second glass of water. The world tended to give Tendou what he wanted when he wanted it and it was best to never think about it.
Kagami instinctively tipped his head back as Tendou leaned into him, unwilling to fight Tendou over his jugular vein. "Uh," he said. "Tendou?"
"A shower," Tendou said, low and dangerous and dripping the contents of the glass down Kagami's neck, tipping a deliberate path over his shoulder. "At. My. House."
"Uh," said Kagami. Tendou had a leg wedged comfortable between Kagami's thighs and was sipping water off of his collarbone. Suddenly the whole day began to make a peculiar sort of sense. "Okay."
There was a combini just a block from Tendou's house and Kagami stopped docilely following Tendou as they passed the front door.
"What?" Tendou snapped at him.
"I need something," Kagami said.
Tendou's face folded into a familiar look that Kagami was beginning to think meant 'why must the pretty ones be stupid'. "I have everything."
Kagami had his own version of that look that he had always called 'Tendou is Tendou' and he brought it out for special occasions. "No," he said, bringing out the look, "you don't. I'll be right back," he said and ducked into the store before Tendou could say another word. He was back out in less than a minute.
"Candy."
Smiling, Kagami focused on unwrapping his lollipop. The watermelon candy was pink and round and Kagami grinned at Tendou, holding it up between them. "It's a Blow Pop," he said and stuck it in his mouth.
The look on Tendou's face was priceless. "It's crude and unsubtle."
Kagami rolled the candy into his cheek as Tendou resumed pulling him towards home. Faster than he had before. "It works for the rest of us," Kagami said around the stick but he let it drop. It wasn't like he couldn't see Tendou smiling anyhow.
I kinda want to headdesk myself a lot. For this and for this. BUT ILU MEG. ♥♥♥♥♥
Wanna Taste It
"That one," Tendou said, jerking his chin at one of the trays.
Kagami watched the street-cart vendor give Tendou a still-steaming taiyaki cake. It was golden-brown and smelled sweetly of vanilla. "I want one too," he said, digging change out of his pocket with one hand and holding the other out to the vendor.
"Kagami." Tendou's hand on his wrist made him look up as Tendou pushed his arm down. "Today, I'll share it with you."
"Eh? Really?" Kagami said in surprise as Tendou released him. Tendou usually had no compassion for his meager policeman's salary and insisted that he pay for his own food or, at the very least, demanded that Kagami pay him back somehow. "Wow," he said as Tendou neatly tore the fish-shaped cake in half. "Thanks!"
Tendou held his eyes as he raised one half of the taiyaki to his mouth and, eyes still locked, licked the custard out of the center of it. "It tastes sweet," he said. He licked at his lower lip, sucking the remnants of custard off of it. His eyes were dark and steady.
Kagami felt a little light-headed. "Tendou," he said, "Tendou…it's really rude to lick the pudding out first."
Tendou's eyes darkened even more. "Manners are wasted on you," he said and Kagami yelped as the other half of the fish cake was slapped into his hands. Tendou stalked off, highly reminiscent of a cat with offended dignity.
"I'm sorry," Kagami said to the vendor. "He's just…" crazy, he thought "like that some times. He's the guy who walks the Path of Heaven."
"I'm sure he's just upset about his mixed-metaphor," the cart owner said kindly.
"Eh?"
"You're going to pay for that, right?"
And Kagami realized that Tendou had stuck him with the bill after all.
Not that he minded treating a friend to lunch, Kagami thought as he walked into the Bistro La Salle with Misaki later that day. "Hiyori will give us a discount but it's still my treat," he told her as he ushered her ahead of him.
"Tendou-kun," Misaki said in greeting.
Kagami looked up to see Tendou sitting at his usual table with a plate already in front of him. "Tendou!" he smiled, willing to forgive Tendou's morning rudeness.
"Grandmother said this," said Tendou and Kagami resisted the urge to roll his eyes mightily. "The food you put into your mouth is indicative of all the things you are willing to put into your body." He raised his fork with a single, fat stalk of asparagus on the end of it. Kagami watched wide-eyed as Tendou took the entire shoot into his mouth and swallowed it seemingly without chewing. His lips quirked up in a slight smile as he set his fork back down. "Delicious," he said.
"My grandfather said," Kagami said, struck utterly dumb, "that eating asparagus makes your pee smell funny."
Tendou's smile vanished and then the man himself did, leaving his food still on the table and the door of La Salle swinging in his wake.
"Kagami!"
"Ow! Sorry, Misaki-san!" Kagami rubbed at the back of his head where Misaki had slapped him sharply. "Sorry! I'll… I'll just…order…something." He sidled up to the kitchen window and peered in at a giggling Hiyori and Juka.
Juka gave him a thumbs up. "Onii-chan can't easily win against you!" she said.
"But it's true," Kagami said, mystified, and took the tea cups that Hiyori thrust at him. "It does."
Somehow Kagami was both totally shocked and completely unsurprised to find Tendou sitting in Tadokoro's soba shop at dinnertime.
"Ah, Kagami," Tadokoro said, waving a little from where he was sitting across from Tendou.
Tendou looked up at him, scowling impassively, and slurped soba.
Kagami sat down next to Tendou and gave him an encouraging smile. "Wow," he said gamely. "That was a long noodle." Tendou's look went from glaring to wary. "You didn't even have to stop to take a breath," Kagami went on encouragingly.
Tendou set down his hashi and licked a drop of sauce from his upper lip. Kagami leaned closer, sure he smelled orange zest and ginger. "You know," he said, "I like hard noodles best. They say that hard noodles stay in the body a long time but I think they're healthy."
"Shall I make you dinner, then?" Tendou asked and Kagami swore that his eyes were glittering.
Really, he thought the strangest things make him happy. What he said was "Eh? But Tadokoro-san makes the best soba in Japan!" Tendou's slight smile dropped off into a thunderous glare and his eyes flashed jagged like lightening. The door to Tadokoro's shop was louder than the one at La Salle. Kagami looked at Tadokoro.
Tadokoro looked like he had a headache. "Kagami," he said, "bus the tables while I make you something to eat."
Kagami took the apron Tadokoro held out to him without question. "But," he said under his breath as he picked up Tendou's discarded dishes, "Tendou was already having dinner."
He ended up back at Bistro La Salle. Yumiko had called Tadokoro and Tadokoro had looked like his headache was getting worse and then Tadokoro had given him a box of dried noodles with instructions to bring them to Yumiko.
Tendou was in the kitchen with his sisters when he came in but he didn't look up. Daisuke and Gon were sitting at a table with a view of the kitchen and so, after giving Yumiko her order, Kagami joined them. "Hey, Kazama," he nodded in greeting, shifting the guitar case to the side. "Hey, Gon."
"Yuriko," she corrected. "What did you do?"
Kagami looked at her and then at Daisuke.
Daisuke raised both eyebrows and ducked his head a bit, peering at him closely.
Deciding there was no help from the former Drake, Kagami looked back at Gon. "What?" he asked.
Gon smiled at Hiyori as Hiyori gave her another glass of strawberry milk. She took a long drink, studying Kagami over the rim of the glass. Kagami waited patiently while she wiped her mouth and had a silent exchange with her partner. "The man who walks the path of heaven keeps looking at you like he wants something from you but I don't know what."
"It's like he…" Daisuke added, "like he…he…" he looked at Gon expectantly.
"What are you looking at me for?" Gon shot back. "I just said I didn't know. You're sloppy in the head."
"He's not the only one," Tendou said from behind Kagami.
Kagami looked up to see Tendou looming over him holding a glass of water. "Ten—" he started and then broke off in a high, shrill sound that he would have been hard pressed not to call a 'girly shriek' as Tendou upended the glass of water over his lap. "Ice water," said Kagami weakly.
"Ohhh," said Gon in an enlightened tone, "I know what he—"
Daisuke yanked Gon against him so that her ears were blocked by his chest and one hand, his other hand he slapped over her eyes. "Hey!" he said, staring at Tendou.
"Daisuke!" Gon protested.
"Tendou!" protested Kagami as he was unceremoniously hauled out of his seat.
"You're all wet," Tendou said, sounding as reasonable and implacable as ever. "You'll have to have a shower. At my house."
Kagami dragged his feet, trying to slow Tendou's inexorable onward march. "It's just water!" he yelped as manfully as he could given Tendou's death-grip on his arm. "It'll dry. I'll be fine." He was entirely unprepared to be tripped over his own feet, swung around, and crowded up against a convenient tree trunk. He didn't even want to know where Tendou found the second glass of water. The world tended to give Tendou what he wanted when he wanted it and it was best to never think about it.
Kagami instinctively tipped his head back as Tendou leaned into him, unwilling to fight Tendou over his jugular vein. "Uh," he said. "Tendou?"
"A shower," Tendou said, low and dangerous and dripping the contents of the glass down Kagami's neck, tipping a deliberate path over his shoulder. "At. My. House."
"Uh," said Kagami. Tendou had a leg wedged comfortable between Kagami's thighs and was sipping water off of his collarbone. Suddenly the whole day began to make a peculiar sort of sense. "Okay."
There was a combini just a block from Tendou's house and Kagami stopped docilely following Tendou as they passed the front door.
"What?" Tendou snapped at him.
"I need something," Kagami said.
Tendou's face folded into a familiar look that Kagami was beginning to think meant 'why must the pretty ones be stupid'. "I have everything."
Kagami had his own version of that look that he had always called 'Tendou is Tendou' and he brought it out for special occasions. "No," he said, bringing out the look, "you don't. I'll be right back," he said and ducked into the store before Tendou could say another word. He was back out in less than a minute.
"Candy."
Smiling, Kagami focused on unwrapping his lollipop. The watermelon candy was pink and round and Kagami grinned at Tendou, holding it up between them. "It's a Blow Pop," he said and stuck it in his mouth.
The look on Tendou's face was priceless. "It's crude and unsubtle."
Kagami rolled the candy into his cheek as Tendou resumed pulling him towards home. Faster than he had before. "It works for the rest of us," Kagami said around the stick but he let it drop. It wasn't like he couldn't see Tendou smiling anyhow.
I kinda want to headdesk myself a lot. For this and for this. BUT ILU MEG. ♥♥♥♥♥
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