I realize this has to be difficult on Ed too, but he's been not only unhelpful but rather disrespectful. I'm not going to spend time on bad-mouthing him because I know he's a good person and I know what it's like to have people trying to be sympathetic but saying horrible things about someone you love. What I will say is that I really hope he gets his shit together at least enough to realize that jerking you around so dramatically and emotionally is Not Okay.
I hope you know it, but in case you don't I did want to say that you are very clearly not at fault for everything going on. You at least are owning your part of the conflict and doing everything you can to improve the situation. It's not that what you're doing isn't enough, it's that your partner isn't pulling his weight and so you are having to work doubly hard. You're an amazing woman with an unparalleled capacity to love and admire your strength in this situation. It probably doesn't feel like you're being very strong, but you are. By comparison, you could have just caved in on yourself and started crying yourself to sleep on the couch and just.... let things happen. You're probably thinking well yeah, of course I wouldn't do that, but I've known women who have. It's easier than fighting, but easy doesn't make it right.
I'm sorry, I paused in the middle of typing this comment to receive some really, really bad news. I forget most of what I was going to say, but I will say this: I am glad to hear from you. I realize that my worries are not important and should not (and hopefully do not) impact how you are handling things, but I worry a little less when I know what's going on with you. Things are ripping you up inside, but you're not going to pieces.
I love you, you're amazing and strong and deserve to be happy. I love that you know you will be again some day. I'm always sending you love. ♥
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Date: 2012-11-29 11:02 pm (UTC)I realize this has to be difficult on Ed too, but he's been not only unhelpful but rather disrespectful. I'm not going to spend time on bad-mouthing him because I know he's a good person and I know what it's like to have people trying to be sympathetic but saying horrible things about someone you love. What I will say is that I really hope he gets his shit together at least enough to realize that jerking you around so dramatically and emotionally is Not Okay.
I hope you know it, but in case you don't I did want to say that you are very clearly not at fault for everything going on. You at least are owning your part of the conflict and doing everything you can to improve the situation. It's not that what you're doing isn't enough, it's that your partner isn't pulling his weight and so you are having to work doubly hard. You're an amazing woman with an unparalleled capacity to love and admire your strength in this situation. It probably doesn't feel like you're being very strong, but you are. By comparison, you could have just caved in on yourself and started crying yourself to sleep on the couch and just.... let things happen. You're probably thinking well yeah, of course I wouldn't do that, but I've known women who have. It's easier than fighting, but easy doesn't make it right.
I'm sorry, I paused in the middle of typing this comment to receive some really, really bad news. I forget most of what I was going to say, but I will say this: I am glad to hear from you. I realize that my worries are not important and should not (and hopefully do not) impact how you are handling things, but I worry a little less when I know what's going on with you. Things are ripping you up inside, but you're not going to pieces.
I love you, you're amazing and strong and deserve to be happy. I love that you know you will be again some day. I'm always sending you love. ♥