Repost from Hols!

[ciircee]

I promise, tomorrow I will get to responding to comments! I am so behind! But they mean the world to me, they really do. Thank you all.

Now, on to the fic! This was my fic for je_holiday. I had a hard time with it, honestly, but enjoyed writing it once I got there. I've been told it's a little hard to follow and I'm sorry for that. On an interesting note: I don't know that anybody actually guessed this one was mine! I thought it was really obviously me but who knows?

And since this had a header for the comm, you get an actual header for this fic. Yay!

Title: Countdown
Group: Erm. There's a lot of Johnny's in here. It's just about everybody. Debuted groups, junior groups, juniors. Seriously, it's a mess of just about everybody.
Pairing: This is pairing free gen! Unless you want to count all of the hot Leader on Leader action. In which case it's a free-for-all of Leader-based pairings. With some possible Nino/Koki and Yoko/Koyama.
Rating: PG
Warnings: It's JE. There's some boy-love and innuendo and really tacky clothes.
Notes: For kamja. I hope you like it and that it makes your holidays a little brighter! And a thank you beyond words to my beta, the ever-so-lovely Meisa (aka sunnydreams416). ♥ Thank you.
Other new note: The Yoko/Koyama thing is all for love of Are you there, Yoko? It's me, God.
Summary: Everybody Loves Leader.



Countdown

Ten

Yoko looked at his bandmates. "Obviously I'm Leader," he said. "I'm oldest."

Ryo gave him a look he usually reserved for NEWS. "I am. I'm in two bands at once; that makes me Leader."

"I'm Leader," Hina said. "Everybody says so!"

"Fans don't count!" Yoko said shortly. "And if you want to be Leader, try NEWS," he told Ryo.

Ryo looked at him darkly.

On the other side of the table, NEWS looked at Ryo. "No," they chorused.

"I'm Leader of NEWS," Yamapi said happily. "I'll be—"

"Oh, no you're not!" said Shige.

"I'm oldest," Koyama declared. "That makes me Leader. And Yoko-chan," he added, nodding across to Yoko.

Shibutani pulled an eyelid at him. "You just say that because Yoko's your text message boyfriend."

"Take that back!" Yoko shrieked at him.

"You're lucky to have him!" Masu shouted.

"I don't have him!"

"Are we breaking up?" Koyama asked worriedly.

"I AM LEADER," Pi stated grandly.

Ryo took a swipe at him. "You keep denying it when people say that so you obviously don't want it! I'm Leader! I'm in TWO BANDS at the SAME TIME."

"NO!" bellowed most of NEWS.

"You're dating Koyama and you have been for years!" Kanjani8 crowed at Yoko.

"Seriously, are we breaking up, Yokocho?"

"I'M LEADER, GODDAMN IT," Ryo shouted at the top of his voice.

"What's going on in—" NEWS' manager asked, peeking into the dressing room. "Oh." She opened her cell phone and looked for Kanjani's manager's number.

Hold

Ohno was pressed so close to Nakai that he could feel the other man breath before he even drew it in. It was too fast, too urgent. "Just wait," he whispered. "Wait."

"Don't think you can order me around just because we're in this position," Nakai snapped.

Nine

"All you have to do is run down the hall screaming 'we're debuting, we're debuting'," Jun directed casually. "Act excited. It's a big moment."

Mis Snow Man looked at him. Ryouhei took point and raised his hand.

"Yes—you?" Jun said, as though he didn't know his name.

"Abe Ryouhei," he introduced himself. "And…can I have an autograph?"

Chino Aoi sighed. "Isn't this a little cruel to those of us who want to debut more than anything?"

Jun looked at Ryo.

Ryo shrugged at the assembled juniors. "Consider it as paying your dues," he said. "And remember to pick a leader or else—" he glared at Jun "—when you debut you end up doing this for other people's leaders."

Nakayama glared at him from the midst of the juniors and then included Jun in it. "I did debut. I am the leader. Nakayama Yuma w/ B.I.Shadow?"

Jun frowned at him and then looked at Ryo.

"Shut up," Ryo invited Nakayama.

Hold

Nakai pressed closer to Joushima. "Hey, it's all right," he told him softly. "Just bear with it for a little bit more."

Joushima pinched his side. "You're the one getting reassured by the kid," he told him.

"Shut up!" Nakai snapped.

"Shhhh," Ohno whispered peacefully in Nakai's ear. "Shhh; it's okay. We're all together now."

Eight

"We should have picked a leader," Yabu said in despair. "When Downtown-san asked us who was leader we should have picked."

"No, no," Yuta reassured him. "If we had, it would have ended up being Chinen at that time."

Chinen beamed at them and opened his mouth to say something.

"Shut up," Yabu told him. "You hit puberty and you're not as cute."

"He's just taking out his frustration," Kei told Chinen. "You're still marginally attractive and can almost still sing."

Aiba handed out the last of the beer bottles. "Chinen-kun," he said, "do it for Leader, okay?"

Chinen nodded eagerly.

"I'm going to go get the hookers," Aiba said. "Please drink freely in that time!"

Sho looked at them all sadly. "I just want you to know," he told them all, "that it—wait, hookers?"

"Nino and Jun said to make it look as trashy as possible!" Aiba gave him the thumbs up. "So I hired hookers. Only seven, though, because that's all I could find in the ghetto at this time of day. So some of you will have to share!"

Sho looked aghast. "This is—even for—I can't just—I'm going to get management," he stuttered, stumbling from the room.

Aiba nodded. "That's the plan. Drink, drink!" he urged Hey Say Jump. "A scandal will get your names and faces back in the news again!"

Hold

Sakamoto turned in Nishikori's hesitant embrace. "Now?" he asked softly.

"Not yet," he whispered back. "Soon. I promise, soon."

Sakamoto nodded and then whispered back, "Could you not say that in my ear like that?"

Seven

"Dark and dramatic!" Ken said, sweeping his hand illustratively.

"We know, we know," Yokoo muttered. "Miyaki-san," he added respectfully a beat later.

"Wataru-kun, be nice!" Yuta mumbled, carefully eyeing Go. He held out his mascara wand. "Please show me how!" he requested, obviously pacifying.

"Sure," Morita said, stepping in. "Stop that!" he roared, whipping around.

Kis-My-Ft2, as a unit, shrank back before turning to look in the corner where both Morita and Miyaki were directing unforgiving glares.

Nino and Koki—already in full drag and makeup—were staring at each other meaningfully.

"Quit perving on each other and get out there and do this for Leader," Ken ordered.

"I was just thinking that Koki-chan is an ugly woman," Nino said sweetly.

"I'd say you make a good looking chick but you actually look like a short dude in bad drag," Koki returned.

"I'm hot as a girl!" Nino fired back.

"Your leader is hot as a girl!" Koki said.

Nino looked mollified. "Yeah, he really kind of is," he agreed, fluffing his wig. "Yours probably is too?" he offered.

"Who—you mean Kame? This is only because of things with Jin—all the doujins make him the bottom now and he's pissed and we're sick of it. But he'd probably be pretty if he wasn't so angry."

"Leader," Okada said, coming in with an armload of pantyhose, "makes a terrible girl."

"We don't even have a leader," Wataru hissed to his bandmates. "Why are we doing this?"

"Because we want to debut one day," Hiro reminded him. "Now help me with this corset."

"Ken…san?" Miyaki's manager stopped dead in the door, looking at his charge as he and his bandmates calmly helped a small junior into a short, short skirt.

"Hey, is Ko—oh," said Koki's manager, looking in over Miyaki's manager's shoulder. "Oh, no."

"Has anybody seen—my band," shrieked the guy who looked after Kis-My-Ft2.

"Oh, Nino," sighed Nino's manager, catching Kis's manager before he could hit the ground. "What have you done?"

"This might be their fault," Miyaki's manager said regretfully, indicating his charge and his band.

Nino and Ken immediately pointed at each other. "It's his fault!"

"My band," moaned the fallen manager. "My babies."

Hold

Kame held Machida close. "What the hell are we doing?" he asked.

"Who knows," Machida answered him, tenderly pushing hair out of his face.

"We could just—"

"Shh. Just let it happen the way it's happening."

Six

Yonehara looked at Yudai and Yuki. "Just like we practiced," he said. Across the office lobby he gave Yara the signal.

"How dare you!" Yara shouted. "How could you?"

"How could he? How could THEY?" TJ stormed over from where M.A.D. was grouped by the door to the conference room. He pointed at Yudai. "How dare you? How could you stay with MA-Mix? How dare you ignore the importance of back dancing for Arashi!"

"I'm so sick of Arashi!" Yara screeched. "Have you forgotten KinKi Kids? V6? SMAP?"

"Jealous?" Kawai demanded, trailing the rest of A.B.C.-Z in his wake. He threw out his hands. "Want to dance for them but too busy doing stageplays?"

Takeuchi sidled in and touched Goseki's shoulder. The other signal. "Can't we all just—"

"No!" shouted Yuki and the choreography began.

Fast, beautiful turns, swift jumps, graceful rolls. All mixed in with a few wild looking kicks and swings. A perfect fight. Just like Westside Story.

Three sets of very concerned looking managers hung at the edges, trying to find a break in the movement in order to separate the 'combatants'. "Now, now," one said.

Ishigaki Daisuke wandered into the office lobby. "I can't remember which band I'm in," he said plaintively.

Two entirely different managers looked alarmed and moved to him. "Ishigaki-kun," said one.

"Daisuke-kun," said the other.

They glared at each other.

But it was a break in the careful pattern, the glorious dance.

With an indrawn breath, as one, the three groups of dancers began to do what they did best—dance their hearts out based on nothing but the feeling in their souls.

Several managers went down even as more came rushing in to help.

"This isn't helping me figure things out," Daisuke said as both the managers who'd come to him fell at his feet.

"Shut up and dance," Yara said, dragging him in to the fray.

Daisuke danced, even as his bands came crashing in to help out.

Hold

Sakamoto leaned against Nakai. "So, I bet you miss Taka-san," he said.

Nakai made an abortive motion that implied he'd kill Sakamoto if only he weren't being squished by the almost-leader and the non-debuted Leader.

"He means 'yes'," Ohno translated. "He's no good with words."

"You!"

"Help him! His band isn't here!"

Five

"Johnny-san touched me," Tanaka Juri said mournfully.

A harried, passing manager stopped to stare at him.

"I have trauma," he said hopefully.

The manager made as though to continue on her way.

"And I'm a Junior," Juri pointed out the obvious.

The manager left quickly, phone already at her ear. "I can't find six-tenths of my band," she said as she disappeared.

Juri opened his phone. "Oniichan, nobody cares," he reported. He listened. And listened. And listened still more. "Ohhh, okay." Hanging up, Juri scuttled into the room where his bandmates were holed up, watching. "Huddle up!" he announced, pulling them in.

A group of six suit-wearing, panicked-looking people rounded the corner at top speed. "We need backup, stat!" one was yelping into his phone.

Kaido Kento, in the middle of the hall, put his hands on his hips. "Johnny-san touched me and if Hip Hop Jump doesn't debut I'm going to tell my parents and the cops and then I'm going to go to the press!" he shouted at the top of his voice.

All six of the suits stopped.

Beaming, Kento stuffed his hands into his pocket and scuffed the toe of his shoe on the floor. "I have trauma," he said coyly. "Lots of trauma."

He was hustled into the room where Hip Hop Jump sat around the table, smiling angelically.

"I got touched too," Juri reminded everybody.

"Shut up; we're debuting," Shoki told him.

Hold

Joushima had awkwardly played peacekeeper and now Nakai was wrapped up with Nishikori and Ohno was half under Kame and Machida. "Soon," he said.

Nakai glared at him. "If you bring this up on 5ldk you'll die next," he said.

"As long as we don't tell Mabo or Taichi, we'll be fine," Joushima said.

Four

Toma stretched and then bent to touch his toes. "So, Sano-san, what brings you in?" he asked conversationally.

Sano Mizuki did a pushup against the wall. "Nagano asked me if I would help out Masayuki," he said with a shrug. "I'm between plays and I thought 'why not'. You?"

Cracking his knuckles, Toma shrugged. "Arashi."

"I guess that'd be so," Sano agreed. "All ready? Shake it out," he directed. He and Toma both shook; shaking out their arms and legs, rolling their shoulders and heads. "Limber?"

"Yup," Toma agreed. He smacked his fist into his palm. "For Leader-less juniors everywhere," he said.

Sano nodded. "For Leaders everywhere who never got a group," he agreed.

They separated and went to opposite sides of the hall.

"For V6."

"For Arashi."

They each threw open a door and walked into a conference room full of frenzied and frazzled J&A executives.

"I've had it!" Sano raged. "I'm thirty-eight years old, you know!"

"I debut or I quit!" Toma stormed. "I'll join Tristone! Or Papado!"

Sano turned. "Oh, nice," he said. "I'll join him!" he told his room.

Two doors slammed shut, doing nothing to drown out the rising tide of voices.

Hold

Nakai sighed. "You know—" he said and his voice was kind, gentle.

"We do," Ohno told him.

"Soon," Joushima said. "Soon."

Three

"We'll start without Nishikori-san," Higashiyama told the assembled mass of suits. "Leader had a scheduling conflict today. With my thanks to each of you and the consideration of the company, the reason I called for this meeting is because Shonentai feels that it's time."

"For us," Uekusa put in.

Higashiyama smiled gently at his bandmate. "It is time for us. With the younger bands getting so overworked and overstressed, in the interest of giving them relief, it's time for us to take the spotlight."

"Again," Uekusa said. He frowned at the look the suits were giving him. "Hey, we were popular!"

"So we want a movie," Higashiyama said, calling the attention back to the front of the room. "We've got a script here—" he waved some papers around. "You've all got a copy in there," he nodded at the papers in front of each of the assembled executives.

Obediently, aware of Higashiyama's position with the company and his favored status with one of the company's top money-making boy-bands, they began to sort through the materials.

Everybody stopped.

Stilled.

Jaws dropped.

"It's boy's love," Uekusa pointed out needlessly. "It's kind of graphic."

"There's a main role for each member, of course," Higashiyama continued on matter-of-factly. "We've done some test shots—"

"Really graphic," Uekusa said, giving the room a thumbs up. "Leader is totally naked in them."

"—and the press should have those shortly."

Hold

Catching his eye, Joushima reached out and linked hands with Nishikori.

Nishikori grabbed Kame's hand.

Without complaint, Kame took Sakamoto's hand in his.

Sakamoto held his hand out to Machida.

Machida reached for Nakai.

Nakai held Ohno's gaze as he held out his hand and they linked hands.

All of them together.

Two

"Seriously?" Goro asked as he pulled his shirt off over his head.

Kimura closed his eyes. "Yeah."

Shingo slipped into the room. "Okay, I just checked; the crossdressers are deployed and I think Nino and Koki are making out somewhere but the juniors are everywhere," he said as stripped out of his pants.

"I mean because you and Nakai—" Tsuyoshi blinked at Kimura, ignoring his blathering bandmate entirely.

"It's complicated," Kimura said shortly.

"He loves Leader, just like the rest of us, despite everything," Shingo said, now entirely naked. "Let's get out there and show them why SMAP is still the top."

They put their hands into the middle. "Leader!" they vowed quietly.

Naked, they stepped out of the room together. "What's wrong with being naked?" they chorused as they walked calmly toward the appointment desk. "We'd like to see Johnny-san, please," Kimura requested as every free manager and executive in the building converged on them.

Hold
Ohno breathed in and breathed out again. He could smell sweat and excitement.
Like a concert, like backstage, like the start of something beautiful.

One

"So, did anybody say why we weren't supposed to come to work today?" Tsubasa asked. "Not that I'm saying they didn't tell you, Hide, but I've been ignoring manager's increasingly frantic phone calls all day."

Across from him at the tiny café table, Tackey pulled a face. "Look, they sent Pi to tell me."

"Ohh," both Domoto's chorused.

Tsubasa covered his face. "It's not—well, yeah. Yeah it is like that."

"If it helps," Koichi said, "Jun said to come to work tomorrow like we don't know anything happened."

"Guys?" Tsuyoshi was looking at the television suspended in a corner. "Guys—isn't that the—"

"Yes. Good lord, yes it is," Koichi answered him.

"Are those cop cars?" Tsubasa asked morbidly fascinated.

"Seven, eight-nine, eleven ambulances so far—how many higher ups you think had heart attacks?" Tackey said, counting. "Or maybe they just got hysterical and stopped breathing or something…you can get an ambulance for those, right? For a panic attack or something?"

"What happened?" Tsuyoshi asked, looking at his partner.

"And why?" Koichi asked in return.

"Uh, guys?" said Tsubasa.

Liftoff
"Now."

And together, finally, they let go and broke free.

Out of the broom closet and into the world.

"Into the car!" Nagase was booming. "We could only get one, so all of you move!"

Tatsuya scrambled out from behind the wheel. "Go! Go, go, go!"

Tower Clear

"Wh—is that who I think it is?" Tsuyoshi cut himself off.

"It is."

"They are."

"It's…Leader. All of them."

"…" they said in a deafening and collective silence.

And then Tackey voiced the million dollar question: "Where do you think they're going?"

"I don't know," Koichi said softly, "but here's to you, Leader."

"To Leader," they toasted them, settling back in their chairs to watch the drama unfold, ignoring the melodious chorus of their cell phones ringing in a circle on their table.


Time Plus

Floating peacefully in the Philippine sea, the Leaders shared a blissful sigh.

"We should take a day off more often," Joushima mused.

Ohno slowly reeled in his line, fighting a large fish. "We really should."

Nakai pulled his hat down over his face. "Maybe now they'll listen when we ask for them."

Comments

[kegom.livejournal.com]

OMG, I didn't know half of the names in here, but I was absolutely CRYING with laughter! Koki and Nino crossdressing and making out (and getting into a fight over Nino being a good-looking cross-dresser, but agreeing that Ohno definitely is one, aflskntfdsg crying, I tell you!) and the whole place being chaos with managers breaking down and juniors everywhere and the one junior who didn't know what band he was in and SMAP being naked and all because the leaders were taking a day off!!!

I- just - seriously. CRYING HERE.


Thank you for reposting this! I didn't follow the JEHols this year, so I didn't see it before now and I'd have been sorry to have missed this. &hearts