Day 12, Clover, Gingetsu (PG)
Jan. 5th, 2007 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ciirceeWe finally made it! Happy Feast-of-the-Epiphany Eve! I wanted to have a really awesome story for you, but my brain took over and decided that what it needed to do was bookend these twelve days. So I played around with style a bit and wrote some more Clover. It was an idea I'd had for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
31_days' November themes. It was originally started for the 3rd's "my pillow won't tell me where he has gone" but I couldn't make it then, but I thought it could also work for the 23rd's "o love, be fed with apples while you may". I didn't finish that either. But I liked the idea enough that I wanted to keep working on it. I think that, with all the hits and misses I wrote, this is probably a miss. But it's all I've got and I think I can promise that I'm not going to be writing more Clover anytime soon. Thanks for sticking with me these last twelve days! Next year, I'll try to do better!
Time Swiftly Running
Kazuhiko showed up the night after the day of Ran's death. "I'm not going to ask if there was anything you could have done because," he said, slapping a bottle of very cheap, very hard liquor on the kitchen counter, "if it could have been done, you'd have done it. And probably some stuff that couldn't have."
Gingetsu lifted the bottle as Ryuu rattled two heavy shot glasses out of his bag of tricks. He raised it slightly and lifted one eyebrow.
"Rotgut," Ryuu flashed a smile that was all sharp teeth, stealing the bottle and pouring. "Cures what ails ya' or kills ya'."
He sincerely doubted that. But it was good enough. "Good," he muttered, lifting his glass in toast before knocking back the shot. He held out his glass and Kazuhiko poured again, pouring a measure for himself, too.
And they drank.
For a long time, they simply sat and drank in silence.
Gingetsu's throat felt strangely dry despite the sharp, raw liquor he was pouring down it and he scratched his neck. He wanted to tell Ryuu that it had been multiple organ failure. Everything but his heart had given out. His heart had kept its quick, strong beat until the end. Until the very end, when it had quickened, lightened, gone thready, thrumming like a dove's in caging hands. But he didn't. He lifted his glass again.
Kazuhiko spoke, clearing his throat as he swished the contents of his glass. "I'm sorry I missed the funeral," he said.
"There wasn't one." Gingetsu drank, long, steady gulps.
"Huh?" Ryuu's glass made a loud sound as it skittered against the marble countertop.
How much to tell him? Gingetsu wondered. What pain to spare him? He was a Clover, Gingetsu thought. But even that little bit was saying too much. "There just wasn't."
Shifting uncomfortably, Kazuhiko nodded and nodded and nodded like a puppet with a broken string. Uncertain. "Well, whatever you did, I could have been there for you. You were there…even though Ora's family…well, I could have returned the favor. I owed you, you know." And he tried a smile.
"He was a Clover," Gingetsu said. He filled his glass to the brim and drank without looking. His eyes closed even behind the visor.
Kazuhiko cursed lowly, vehemently, his glass slamming back to the marble with a sharp retort like gunfire. And then he laughed. "So, just another government fuck-you-up-the-ass-thank-you-very-much, huh?"
"Yes," said Gingetsu. They were like pressed flowers in a book—dry and crumbling and kept forever. Mechanical birds that flew in their cages, and once in the open skies, and broke and were taken back to the shop that had made them.
"So…so what? You wanna go punch some military bureaucrat in the face? Some scientist? Wanna burn down the house and then paint 'go fuck yourselves' in ten-foot high letters on the Wizard's building?"
He did. All of it. He wanted to walk away, shed his rank the way Ran had shed 'C' and walk away. Find something to do until Ryuu couldn't dirty up his corpse. But he was a two-leaf Clover, tucked like a luck charm into the military. "No," he said.
"Jeezus," said Ryuu. "They were jokes. Gallows humor! Or honest-to-god offers, if you're interested. Because I don't know what to do here. So could you maybe have an expression and let me know how I'm doing here?"
"I did."
Ran, he thought. He drank. The liquor was harsh and sour and he wanted tea with milk and sugar. He wanted bitter black coffee.
"What, under the visor? Take it off and let's see."
"It's gone now."
Ran, he thought again and he didn't know how Ryuu had done it. Not once, but two times—like the leaves of the unluckiest clover of all. The last one.
"Gingetsu." Kazuhiko was standing, one hand heavy on his shoulder. And Ryuu had always been a bit of a sloppy drunk. "What the hell can I do?"
Ran, Gingetsu thought. Bring me Ran. Round-faced and long haired and uncertain. Silver-haired and sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Find him for me. Find him barefoot in the rain. Find him sobbing in the night because his brother is dead somewhere in the world and he loved him still. Pull him out of his transport matrix, reassemble him from thin-air and super-space. Find me time. "There's nothing, Ryuu," he said. He stood and slipped Kazuhiko's hand in order to rinse his glass. He left it in the sink with Kazuhiko's.
Upending the bottle, Ryuu poured what little alcohol remained down the drain. "You're not getting rid of me that easy," he said. "Tomorrow I'll come up with something a little more prepared than getting you drunk off your ass."
"I have to work tomorrow," Gingetsu said. He still didn't know how he felt about that. Grateful. Enraged. Numb.
Kazuhiko was staring at him in disbelief. "Look, I know—none better—that work takes your mind off of shit, but even the great Colonel needs more than one fucking day!"
"I can't." He still didn't know how he felt about that, either. Enraged. Grateful. Empty. "You were the only other person who knew he was here," he said. He paused at his bedroom door and looked back at Kazuhiko, standing still in the empty black-and-white spaces of the house. "You can stay over if you like," he said. He shut the door behind him. Ran would have liked that Ryuu had come. Would have appreciated the effort. Ran would have ganged up on him with Ryuu and made him—would have asked in that way and he'd have said 'do what you want' and he would have
He slept on the floor that night.
31_days' November themes. It was originally started for the 3rd's "my pillow won't tell me where he has gone" but I couldn't make it then, but I thought it could also work for the 23rd's "o love, be fed with apples while you may". I didn't finish that either. But I liked the idea enough that I wanted to keep working on it. I think that, with all the hits and misses I wrote, this is probably a miss. But it's all I've got and I think I can promise that I'm not going to be writing more Clover anytime soon. Thanks for sticking with me these last twelve days! Next year, I'll try to do better!Time Swiftly Running
Kazuhiko showed up the night after the day of Ran's death. "I'm not going to ask if there was anything you could have done because," he said, slapping a bottle of very cheap, very hard liquor on the kitchen counter, "if it could have been done, you'd have done it. And probably some stuff that couldn't have."
Gingetsu lifted the bottle as Ryuu rattled two heavy shot glasses out of his bag of tricks. He raised it slightly and lifted one eyebrow.
"Rotgut," Ryuu flashed a smile that was all sharp teeth, stealing the bottle and pouring. "Cures what ails ya' or kills ya'."
He sincerely doubted that. But it was good enough. "Good," he muttered, lifting his glass in toast before knocking back the shot. He held out his glass and Kazuhiko poured again, pouring a measure for himself, too.
And they drank.
For a long time, they simply sat and drank in silence.
Gingetsu's throat felt strangely dry despite the sharp, raw liquor he was pouring down it and he scratched his neck. He wanted to tell Ryuu that it had been multiple organ failure. Everything but his heart had given out. His heart had kept its quick, strong beat until the end. Until the very end, when it had quickened, lightened, gone thready, thrumming like a dove's in caging hands. But he didn't. He lifted his glass again.
Kazuhiko spoke, clearing his throat as he swished the contents of his glass. "I'm sorry I missed the funeral," he said.
"There wasn't one." Gingetsu drank, long, steady gulps.
"Huh?" Ryuu's glass made a loud sound as it skittered against the marble countertop.
How much to tell him? Gingetsu wondered. What pain to spare him? He was a Clover, Gingetsu thought. But even that little bit was saying too much. "There just wasn't."
Shifting uncomfortably, Kazuhiko nodded and nodded and nodded like a puppet with a broken string. Uncertain. "Well, whatever you did, I could have been there for you. You were there…even though Ora's family…well, I could have returned the favor. I owed you, you know." And he tried a smile.
"He was a Clover," Gingetsu said. He filled his glass to the brim and drank without looking. His eyes closed even behind the visor.
Kazuhiko cursed lowly, vehemently, his glass slamming back to the marble with a sharp retort like gunfire. And then he laughed. "So, just another government fuck-you-up-the-ass-thank-you-very-much, huh?"
"Yes," said Gingetsu. They were like pressed flowers in a book—dry and crumbling and kept forever. Mechanical birds that flew in their cages, and once in the open skies, and broke and were taken back to the shop that had made them.
"So…so what? You wanna go punch some military bureaucrat in the face? Some scientist? Wanna burn down the house and then paint 'go fuck yourselves' in ten-foot high letters on the Wizard's building?"
He did. All of it. He wanted to walk away, shed his rank the way Ran had shed 'C' and walk away. Find something to do until Ryuu couldn't dirty up his corpse. But he was a two-leaf Clover, tucked like a luck charm into the military. "No," he said.
"Jeezus," said Ryuu. "They were jokes. Gallows humor! Or honest-to-god offers, if you're interested. Because I don't know what to do here. So could you maybe have an expression and let me know how I'm doing here?"
"I did."
Ran, he thought. He drank. The liquor was harsh and sour and he wanted tea with milk and sugar. He wanted bitter black coffee.
"What, under the visor? Take it off and let's see."
"It's gone now."
Ran, he thought again and he didn't know how Ryuu had done it. Not once, but two times—like the leaves of the unluckiest clover of all. The last one.
"Gingetsu." Kazuhiko was standing, one hand heavy on his shoulder. And Ryuu had always been a bit of a sloppy drunk. "What the hell can I do?"
Ran, Gingetsu thought. Bring me Ran. Round-faced and long haired and uncertain. Silver-haired and sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Find him for me. Find him barefoot in the rain. Find him sobbing in the night because his brother is dead somewhere in the world and he loved him still. Pull him out of his transport matrix, reassemble him from thin-air and super-space. Find me time. "There's nothing, Ryuu," he said. He stood and slipped Kazuhiko's hand in order to rinse his glass. He left it in the sink with Kazuhiko's.
Upending the bottle, Ryuu poured what little alcohol remained down the drain. "You're not getting rid of me that easy," he said. "Tomorrow I'll come up with something a little more prepared than getting you drunk off your ass."
"I have to work tomorrow," Gingetsu said. He still didn't know how he felt about that. Grateful. Enraged. Numb.
Kazuhiko was staring at him in disbelief. "Look, I know—none better—that work takes your mind off of shit, but even the great Colonel needs more than one fucking day!"
"I can't." He still didn't know how he felt about that, either. Enraged. Grateful. Empty. "You were the only other person who knew he was here," he said. He paused at his bedroom door and looked back at Kazuhiko, standing still in the empty black-and-white spaces of the house. "You can stay over if you like," he said. He shut the door behind him. Ran would have liked that Ryuu had come. Would have appreciated the effort. Ran would have ganged up on him with Ryuu and made him—would have asked in that way and he'd have said 'do what you want' and he would have
He slept on the floor that night.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-14 11:10 am (UTC)That hurt.
But we know it's coming and it'll happen...
Sorry if I'm reviweing so late, I just found this story through Google, looking for some good Gingetsu/Ran ^^;
Thank you for writing them <3