Arashi + Costumes =Retarded antics.

[ciircee]

First: Happy Birthday/Happy Anniversary, Arashi! Your rainbow-filled crack has enriched my life beyond measure. You make me happy every day. ♥♥♥♥♥

Second: Never break a toe. There is nothing you can do about it except eat painkillers like tic-tacs. It's impossible to write (and half the time even reading is a challenge) while taking them. Also—if you break a toe certainly your eleven formerly-feral kittens will think it is a kitten toy. Orz But! I'm leaving off for the most part and I should be back to writing more soon. If you notice any glaring errors or just want to tell me to never write when half-hopped-up, let me know.

Finally! Matsumiya Prompt: Halloween Party with teasings and possible porns, you get to pick the costumes. <---This is why lady_gemma is not a creepy stalker psycho. Also: This. I love her. I love her like I love abusing MatsuJun's dignity. Meg said it best: dignity piñata.



Somewhere to go and not at all dressed-up…

---Day One---

"I don't see why we have to be a pair," Nino grumbled.

"We've only got one week left to pick something; I really don't have time to strangle you and hide your body," Jun told him. "We've been over this," he went on airily. If he concentrated on his breathing, he wouldn't kill Nino. "The best chance to win the costume contest is with matching costumes." Jun gave up on flicking through the rack of pirate costumes. "There's nothing that stands out there," he said, jerking a thumb at the rack. "And anyhow," he said going back to the topic at hand, "Leader, Sho, and Masaki are going as a trio."

Nino heaved a put-upon sigh. "It's your OCD again, isn't it?" He jumped down from the coffin he'd been sitting on and picked up a plastic 'wooden' club. "Let's go as dirty, unwashed cavemen," he suggested. "With messy, scraggly hair."

Jun fought the urge to beat him to death with the plastic club. "Nice size on the club, Nino. People will think you're compensating."

"In your case, they'd be right," Nino returned sweetly. Jun gave up fighting the urge and grabbed the club. "Ow! Ow, that hurts!"


---Day Two---

"I have bruises," Nino said viciously, shoving costumes aside with clear ire.

Jun looked up at the ceiling, praying for patience. "I know."

"You should have kissed them all better." Nino held up a cowboy hat and then tossed it aside in disgust.

"I gave them to you for a reason," Jun reminded him, "why the hell would I want to make them better?" Nino opened his mouth to reply but just then a drape of purple velvet—real velvet—caught Jun's eye and he went to investigate. "King," he said, touching the royal robe. It would be expensive but worth it; there was more velvet on the pants in smart, crimson accent panels. "You can be the queen," he told Nino. "You like cross-dressing."

"I like it when other people cross-dress," Nino said. "I'll be the king and you can be the queen. Everybody already calls you 'princess' so it'd be like a promotion."

"Fuck off and die," Jun told him.


---Day Three---

"You know," said Nino, balking in front of the latest costume shop, "you know I do have all that Magician stuff you guys gave me for my birthday. I already own a tuxedo…"

"God, you are so cheap," Jun told him.

"…and you could be my beautiful assistant," Nino finished, pointing at a blue sequined dress on a mannequin in the window.

"You're a cheapskate and an asshole," Jun amended.

"That's what you get for not kissing all my boo-boos better."

Jun kicked him in the ass.


---Day Four---

"How about sentai rangers?" Nino suggested from his raven-like perch on the back of a chair. "Wardrobe probably still has the suits and we can talk the others into it, too."

"Four words: Sparkling Rainbow Storm Rangers," Jun told him. "Taichi still sings the theme song when he sees me."

Nino clutched his head. "Did you have to remind me of that?" he asked. "Now it's going to be stuck in my head."

Jun considered that. "Good."

Nino gave him a baleful stare.

"Come on," Jun sighed, holding out a hand to help Nino down. "There's another shop a few blocks away. We can see what they have."


---Day Five---

"Baseball players?" Nino said, plucking at the jersey on the top of the pile that Jun handed to him.

"Famous ones," said Jun. "Legendary."

"You're running out of ideas."

"Only because you're an ass," Jun agreed. "Are you going to argue with me or are we going to actually try something on for once?"

"Try something on," Nino said, leading the way to the changing rooms at the back of the shop. "This is actually a great idea."

"Well," Jun said a few minutes later as they stepped out of their cubicles to get a look in the mirrors, "this isn't going to work. We'll never hear the end of it."

Nino adjusted his stance and then stopped. "What are you talking about? And why do I have the catcher's uniform?"

Jun gave him a level stare and then raised one eyebrow.

"I do not!" Nino hissed at him.

"Sure you do," said Jun, shoving Nino back into his stall and following him in, kicking the door shut behind them. "Batter up."

"Oh, god, that is so aw—aah! K-keep that up and you'll—oh, yeah, just like that—be famous."

"I'm going to be legendary."


---Day Six---

"I think we've been blackballed," Nino informed him after the fourth shop mysteriously closed just as they walked in.

Jun pressed his fingers to his temples, prodding at the building headache. "This is your fault," he told Nino.

"Technically, it's yours," Nino said, batting Jun's hands away and replacing them with the heels of his hands, rubbing a hard circle. "Let's go home and brainstorm."

"I ran out of ideas yesterday when I fucked you in the fitting room," Jun admitted, leaning forward into the surprising strength of Nino's hands.

Nino's hands stopped. "Well, then, let's go home and fuck until we get some ideas."

"That works for me."


---Day Seven---

"Takizawa is dressed up as a Junior," Nino reported. "Imai is going to kill him."

Jun closed his eyes. "At least he's not dressed up like Johnny." Beside him he felt Nino shudder. "If it makes you feel better, Jin is dressed like his I.Q."

"His…what, he's naked?"

"Close; he's a ham sandwich." He shared a smile with Nino as Jin wandered past. At least, he thought Nino was smiling. With their costumes, it was hard to tell. He felt Nino take his hand and squeeze and smiled wider, certain now.

"Sho-chan! Leader! I found them! Yoko was right and they are holding hands!" Aiba was juggling three glasses of champagne. "I got you both drinks," he said, "and then I couldn't find you but Yoko said I should just look for somebody holding hands. But it's not just Arashi, not just Arashi," he went on. Jun thought he must have sensed his murderous look. "Thank goodness Nino is short." Aiba half hugged Nino while handing him a glass. "So…you're ghosts, huh?"

"It's a classic," Jun said, glad his face was covered by a sheet. "What the hell are you?" Aiba looked like a large, brown rectangle, with a space cut out for his face as well as leg and arm holes.

"My mom made us a Kit-Kat," Ohno said, drifting over with his own glass of champagne. Sho was attached to his side, literally. "We Velcro together," he said unnecessarily as Aiba attached himself to Sho.

"Somebody took a bite out of you," Nino observed.

Ohno pouted, his face round and adorable in his chocolate square. "She said she had to do something because I was too short to be a full Kit. Or a Kat."

"You're just delicious," Jun said comfortingly.

"Please don't be talking about Nino," a very monkey-like Toma said, popping his head and a banana over the top of Ohno's bite-mark. "Koichi said that Pi heard from Tatsuya that you and Nino got blacklisted from every rental place in town."

"Toma, let's go get a drink," Ohno said hastily, tearing himself away from Sho. "I haven't bought you a drink yet. Let's go over to the bar, okay?"

"But it's…free?" Toma said in confusion as he and Ohno disappeared into the crowd.

Jun watched Sho put his head in his hands while Aiba rubbed soothing circles on his back. "No, really, ghosts are classic," Jun told them.

"Jun lies," Nino said. "We got blacklisted for having sex in the changing room."

Sho made a sound of utter pain.

"Look," Jun said desperately, "Tsubasa is dressed as Johnny!"

"Damn," said Nino, as Aiba led Sho away in the direction of the bar. "They're going to win the contest for sure. We're going to have to put up with KAT-TUN's smart-ass remarks for nothing."

"Not for nothing," Jun said, setting his glass down. Nino's went down beside it, their edges taping together and ringing out a muted chime. "Come on."

Ten minutes later Jun had Nino pressed up against the back wall of one of Johnny & Associates unused storage rooms.

"You know," Nino panted, "you know the great thing about these costumes?"

Jun bit Nino's neck roughly. "If you say 'they were my idea' I'm going to get off first and leave you hanging."

Nino moaned, tipping his head back, his hands coming up to card restlessly through Jun's hair. The motion was almost frantic and Jun took the hint to bite Nino again, even harder. "No," Nino moaned. "Not that," he said when Jun lifted his head. Jun rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing. "I was going to say 'they're easy to get off'."

"So are you, if you ever shut up," Jun told him.

Nino's laugh dissolved into a strangled cry and Jun laughed until Nino made him lose his breath.

Comments

[rim1789.livejournal.com]

That was great xD ^^ Though I didn't get the "Sparkling Rainbow Storm Rangers" reference ^^

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! SRS Rangers (http://lazulisong.livejournal.com/tag/pikapika%20rainbow%20senshi%20arashi) is an invention of lazulisong's and I can't believe I didn't link it in this entry.

[rim1789.livejournal.com]

Thank you ^^