I can't brain today, I have the dumb

[ciircee]

*tears hair* I am ready to drop-kick the stripper pole fic into the Sugar River. It's done. Mostly. Sort of. I've been tweaking it for two days and I just can't get it to a place where I'm happy with it. It's some ten or eleven pages and I just. I'm not happy with it. If I can't get it to my liking tomorrow I'm just going to post it as is either tomorrow night or on Wednesday morning just to get it off of my harddrive and away from my headspace. It seriously worked IN MY HEAD. In words...not so much.

For now I am going to take a break from it. Either I will write something else or I'll watch Ai no Kotodama or something. Though I don't know that watching Tokuyama kiss a boy is going to help me to stop glaring at the stripper pole. Make me happy? Sure. Make me happy about that fic? Ha. No.



"So," Kazue started.

Nino had learned a long time ago that when either his mother or his sister started the morning by 'so'ing at him, it was rarely something he wanted to hear. "Hmm?" he asked. He snagged the carton of orange juice from the fridge and drank directly from it. His sister gave him an exasperated look but let the juice thing slide. Even worse, he thought. "What?" he asked, wiping his mouth on his arm.

"Your friend is weird," she said.

"But you knew that before you agreed to marry him," Nino told her. "And probably even before you let him knock you up." He narrowly dodged her swat.

"I don't mean Jun," she said, swinging again and catching the back of his head as he was too slow to duck away a second time and still manage to stay on his feet. "Besides, he was my boyfriend before you ever met him."

Nino made a show of rubbing the back of his head. "He was only your blind date that night and you broke up with him four separate times in the last five years, once for more than two months. I've had custody of him more often so, technically, that would make him my friend more than your boyfriend."

"This isn't Kramer vs. Kramer," Kazue took the juice carton from him and shook it, giving him the evil eye as it turned up empty. "Anyhow, I meant Sho."

Which Nino already knew. "Staring at your stomach again?" he asked.

"It's like he's waiting for it to pop out. Like Alien or something," his sister agreed. "It wouldn't be bad if anybody could tell I was pregnant, I guess, except I don't think it shows yet. I don't think he'd even know if it was showing or not anyhow."

"He likes babies," Nino said. He was looking forward to Jun explaining the baby shower thing eventually. "You should be happy; I promised him that he could have you and it if Jun decided to fuck off."

Kazue stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked after a moment.

"It was him or Aiba," Nino shrugged, boosting himself up to sit on the counter as his sister began to assemble the ingredients for omelet rice. "And you know Aiba—he'd treat it like a puppy until it could talk."

"Quit trying to marry me off to your weirdo friends," Kazue told him.

"You started it," Nino reminded her smugly.

Comments

[gimmick-game.livejournal.com]

sdafdsajgkdlsajf


Have I ever told you how much I love your snark, especially when it's transferred into any of the Ninomiya family?

[blood-opal.livejournal.com]

DDD:

I AM SO SAD STRIPPER!SHO IS NOT WORKING FOR YOU. T_______T IS... IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?!?

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

NEW BRAIN NAO? DDD:

It's probably not awful it's just...not what I had in my head. It'll go up tomorrow. >.< I'm still hoping that tomorrow morning it will look at me and say 'zomg, i will totally work for you now!'

[blood-opal.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. 'Cause about 30 minutes after I posted, I thought you might ask me for porn... and I maybe would've on the slightest chance considered writing it for you. BUT! I'M SURE EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR YOU! ♥ Because what you call crap is usually gold to the rest of us anyways. XDD

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

*glowers* Just you wait.

(I never ask for porn because I know that writing it makes me cry tears of blood. Plus, I feel bad enough about this fic as it is. I don't need to be faced with great awesomesauce while crying over it.)

[blood-opal.livejournal.com]

(And that is exactly why I would consider writing porn for you. Because you understand. XDDD Writing porn makes me want to bang my head against a desk. Or whatever hard surface may be within reach. Except the sad thing is porn is what my mind always goes to first. >.> Stupid Ohmiya need to stop fucking with Sho in my head. I DO NO APPRECIATE IT, YOU GUYS. DDD:)

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

Stupid Ohmiya need to stop fucking with Sho in my head

And they're absolutely FILTHY about it, too. 'It makes him blush so PRETTY :D :D :D'. Perverts.

[blood-opal.livejournal.com]

And they're absolutely FILTHY about it, too. 'It makes him blush so PRETTY :D :D :D'. Perverts.

OH GOD I KNOW. THEY ARE THE WORST PEOPLE EVER. DDD: POOR SHO'S LIFE IS SO HARD. Though I wonder what that says about me, considering I have about 250 words of Ohno filming Sakumiya video tape down for my own perverted pleasure because IT WILL NOT LEAVE MY HEAD UNLESS I WRITE IT. SHO I AM SO SORRY I REALLY DO LOVE YOU LOTS. AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, IT WILL NEVER LEAVE THE PRIVATE LOCK IN MY JOURNAL. T________T

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

The look up kinky things to do to him just to see what he'll do. They DARE each other to do these things to Sho. It's a GAME. AND THEY TELL HIM ABOUT IT.

...just knowing that it exists makes me happy. Also: I would buy that tape in a second. In LESS than a second. I would buy it twice.

[blood-opal.livejournal.com]

It's a GAME. AND THEY TELL HIM ABOUT IT.

Of course they do. It's what they do. And I bet they plan it out to tell him at the most inappropriate times. I bet they text it to him during TV show filming briefings. Sho's cellphone in his back pocket will suddenly vibrate and he'll flip it open and be all, "ddhjdhad," out of nowhere and the staff will be like, "Sakurai-san, are you okay?"

You and me both. I'd buy that tape and watch the hell out of it in my dark little corner where my family will never see. And I'd stick it on repeat. It'll be like my bible. Hmmmyes. Also: Ohno Satoshi is a bitch, yes he is. But, well, all artistic people are pretty bitchy about their art.

[blueandflawless.livejournal.com]

THE SNIPPET IS PRETTY GREAT OK

I certainly hope it makes it in somewhere, because I love it. Nino is SO the kind of person that wants to keep everyone he likes within smacking skinship grabbing snarking distance! Marrying his only favorite sister off to one of his goofball friends is only practical. ♥

[rinalin.livejournal.com]

"Quit trying to marry me off to your weirdo friends," Kazue told him.

"You started it," Nino reminded her smugly.

Nino + Family = still makes me giggle.

You write him so well, have I ever told you? Snark and wit I've always found the hardest to write and you do it beautifully.

[beltenebra.livejournal.com]

Oh this is just great, I absolutly love the AU au. :) Out of curiosity... is the Alien bit a reference to Coupling? (I know I will never be able to think about pregnant women without John Hurt lurking in the back of my brain.)

As far as Stipper Pole Sho is concerned, maybe it's time to call in Peacock!MatsuJun and that riding crop of his for some motivation?

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

The Alien thing is actually related to something my husband used to say to me when I was pregnant. As in 'holy crap no I don't want to feel that--it's like Alien is trying to pop out and face-hugger me!'

Sho has motivation--namely 'make those bitches suffer'. I am just incapable. orz But a riding crop. Is that what that is? I have been trying to figure out what the hell he was holding for ages.

[uminohikari.livejournal.com]

asdfjkl; AHA, Nino!logic is made of win

[happenstanc3.livejournal.com]

Ninomiya household ftw. ♥

[primroseshows.livejournal.com]

I love that Nino drinks the juice straight out of the carton to assess how dire the situation is. I love your Nino so much, and his family.

I need to read that conversation with Sho. I need it, okay.

This AU is so amazing. ♥ ♥ ♥

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

"You know," Nino says, staring after Jun and his sister, "you know they are a lot alike."

Sho looks at Nino and then at the figures walking away, growing smaller with distance. Kazue and Jun both are fierce and gentle, sharp and unexpectedly sweet. Jun sends e-mails with fireworks in the background to say 'happy birthday' and Kazue had actually looked in on him when he'd broken his thumb, bringing him dinner since she worked nearby—which Sho had later learned was a complete lie. They're smart and hard working and just as likely to mock as to coo. "That's why they suit each other, I guess," he tells Nino.

"Mm," says Nino. "I sort of wonder why he hasn't run away from her screaming, yet. Permanently, I mean."

"He's a lucky man," Sho says, putting his arm around Nino's waist. "He's a lucky man and he knows it. He's got a girl that he loves, one who loves him back, and she is going to give him the greatest gift a man can get."

"…trump cards?" Nino asks.

Sho has been weak to Nino ever since he realized that some wrong-number guy was indulging him in a really great conversation about the stock market. He tugs him closer and hugs him tighter. "Babies are the best kind of trump card," he tells him. "They can be anything, do anything, they are unlimited in every aspect."

"Then why do some of them grow up to be Aiba?" Nino asks him.

"Hey!" says Aiba. It's actually unclear if Aiba is talking to them or to the petting-zoo goats that are trying to steal the little sugar-cone of goat food he's holding on to and doling out in small pieces.

"And," Sho continues on, ignoring both Aiba and Nino, "and you get to raise them, help them discover the world and make their place in it and no matter what you do, they're still their own little person, their own tiny, little self with their own itty-bitty dreams and goals and wants and they grow up to be whoever it is that they want to be."

"Sho?" says Nino.

"They're not little mirrors, Nino," Sho goes on. This is the first time that Nino has really seemed to want to talk about his sister and Jun and their baby. "But you can look at a baby and see the past in them as much as you can see the bright, shining future. Your baby is a tiny piece of you, a tiny piece of your father and your mother and your grandparents."

"Sho?"

"And they're so cute," Sho says, remembering that Nino has not had the best of luck with fathers and occasionally feels like a total disappointment to his grandfather. He squeezes Nino tighter. "They're tiny and light and warm and they smell sweet and, even though they're really light they're actually this weight in your arms and against your chest."

"I'm twenty-five, Sho," Nino says and Sho looks down to see that he is cradling Nino to him.

Really, he thinks, Nino is adorable. Nino's got a face that never seems to age and that little-kitten smile that quirks his lips up when he's happy and those eyes. He can't resist pinching Nino's cheeks. "It's going to be a tiny, cute, little Nino-baby. With some Jun thrown in." He thinks about that and it occurs to him suddenly that Jun's baby with Kazue is going to be the most beautiful baby ever. "I hope he or she gets Jun's big smile—you know that great, big one that he pretends he doesn't have? And your little mole," he says, touching the spot on Nino's chin. "And maybe your hands." The thought makes him feel a little giddy because Nino's hands are tiny and cute as they are. "It is going to be a beautiful baby. Jun is so lucky."

"When he fucks off," Nino says, "you can have Kazue and the kid."

"…eh?" It draws Sho up short as he tries to refocus. "Kazue…?"

"I could be the father!" Aiba volunteers, still by the goat pen. "I could teach it baseball and golf!"

"You want to marry my sister?" Nino asks skeptically.

Aiba shudders. "No way! She's scary! But Sho-chan is right about babies being cute. When they're really little they're sort of like fat baby puppies. They sort of lay there and make whimpering noises. And if they don't have a diaper on, they pee on the carpet. At least, that's what my brother did when HE was a baby."

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

"You can't just leave a baby on the floor with no diaper!" Sho protests, even though he thinks that diaper-less babies are pretty cute. "What if it gets cold?"

Nino pats his chest, leaving his cute hand warm over Sho's heart and Sho knows he's doing it on purpose, he just can't really care right now. "Don't worry, Sho-chan. I promise that we won't let Aiba pants the baby. If Jun fucks off we'll just pretend that you're the real mother."

"Screw you," Sho says. Although. He really wouldn't mind being a mother. Mothers get to carry the baby for nine months without having to set it down.

"He's thinking about it, Nino," Aiba murmurs.

Sho pretends that he can't hear him.

[primroseshows.livejournal.com]

here. take my soul. you deserve it.

Trumps cards. Babies are better than trump cards. Aiba feeding petting zoo goats. THEY ARE AT A PETTING ZOO. SHO BEING WEAK TO NINO AND NINO'S CUTE. SHO SPOUTING OFF A DISSERTATION ABOUT THE AMAZINGNESS OF BABIES DHLAJDAL:JD:AD

Thank you so so much for this. ILU so hard. ♥♥♥

[beckerbell.livejournal.com]

It is a sign of how amazing this snippet is that I love it with my very soul despite that you married Jun off to a girl. And yet I cannot be mad about it! Because Nino. Oh, Nino, PROMISING SHO HIS SISTER AND THE BABY IF JUN DECIDED TO FUCK OFF. OR AIBA. TREATING IT LIKE A PUPPY.

I-- I can't even try to be witty back at you, I'm too busy over here lolling forever.

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

It's not my fault that Jun said 'If I weren't in Arashi I'd be straight and have a girlfriend! It's not my fault I am totally gay--I got stuck with hot bandmates!'.

♥♥♥

[waxrose.livejournal.com]

Fjfdld;dldljdk Circee. I love this AU SO MUCH. ♥♥♥♥ CUSTODY.

[still-ciircee.livejournal.com]

XDDD Sometimes Jun has to sit through the custody battles. The ones where both Kazue and Nino are like 'hell no, he's YOURS, YOU KEEP HIM' at each other. And their mom is like 'he cleans' and Nino is all 'I didn't say we couldn't keep him as a MAID' and then Kazue asks if Sho still has that dress and Nino :D :D :Ds at her and Jun goes D: D: D: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? (Except he's :D :D :D inside because it means that they LOVE HIM.)

[honeypuffed.livejournal.com]

lskfdgdf yes

[insipid-paragon.livejournal.com]

"And you know Aiba—he'd treat it like a puppy until it could talk."
It's lol-y because it's TRUE.

And the comment continuation! Oh, talky Sho! Talky Sho, so in love with babies and little Nino's face and his little hands and his little snarky (tender) ways. I love that we can actually hear the concern in Aiba's voice when he points out to Nino that Sho's so far gone that he is thinking about the joy of being a mother. hee!

Ugh, this world. My heart.