ciircee | Happy birthday! To me!

XD Thank you everybody for the birthday wishes! I will get back to all of you asap (which for me, is never very s) but really, THANK YOU. I feel loved and cherished and warm. Thank you for putting up with me for one more year.

Because today is my birthday I thought I might share something with you--on Christmas day my sister Randa sent around an e-mail full of stories from and about our mom. This was my first Christmas and birthday without her and I thought...well, I guess I just wanted to share her with you. When I say that I had the best mom ever, I really mean it.

(This email is from my older sister, Randa. So any 'I' or 'me' means Randa. Anything in italics--and parenthesis--is me explaining something to you. FYI: My siblings are listed in age order, oldest to youngest.)

*Mom shared some stories with me about everyone. I hope they are accurate because it was me trying to remember what Mom told me she remembered. The other stories were told to or written for me by Mom’s brothers, sisters and niece. I am sure there are so many more. I know we will continue to share them always.

Mom’s Memories

Roseanne
Roseanne and Nancy got Mom hooked on All My Children. Roseanne set an alarm clock on the TV and it went off at noon so Mom went in and watched it.

Mom overheard Roseanne in the kitchen listening to the radio. “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” was playing and Roseanne said “I really hope Mom gets me that record.” Mom said she went back to the store and looked harder for it.

Nancy
Mom told me she and Nancy did jigsaw puzzles together.
Mom always said Nancy was an artist and that Mom liked to go upstairs to see what Nancy had drawn and written on the walls of her room.

Helen
Helen and Nancy didn’t want to finish the food on their plates. It was a standoff and everyone was losing. Mom told me she finally made up an excuse to leave the room and when she came back the food was gone, but really she had given them a chance to throw it out without really giving in.

John
Mom told me she found pot in John’s room, so she went outside and smoked it (sounds reasonable) but it gave her a headache. John told Mom it wasn’t his. He was keeping it for his big sister Roseanne.

Jane
Jane could dress herself before John. Mom said she remembers getting John dressed in the morning and then looking over at Jane and she was dressing herself.

Jane was stubborn. When she was about two she and Mom got into an argument because Mom wanted her to take a dirty toy (a truck?) outside and Jane would not give in. Mom told me that finally she spanked Jane and threw the truck outside herself and that solved the problem.

Jackie
Mom told me she remembered laying on the couch with her new baby Sally when Jackie came running into the living room and Mom said she only remembers that moment because Jackie’s eyes were so blue.

Sally
Mom told me she named Sally after watching TV and there was a little girl named Sally Anne and she thought it was cute.

Catherine
Mom helped Erica make paper airplanes (did anyone make better paper airplanes than Mom?) and write “You stink” and “I hate you” on them because when Catherine was younger she had done that to Mom and flew them downstairs. Does that mean Mom held a grudge or not?

Rena
Mom told me she liked Rena’s sense of style when she was a teenager. She thought Rena was good at putting outfits together.
Mom often said Rena should be a lawyer because she could argue a point to death.

Randa
When I got the Light Bright for Christmas Mom told me I said “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

Mary
When Mary was little she was stubborn. Mom helped her downstairs and she turned around mad and marched back upstairs to do it herself.
Mary was sneaky. She was walking through the kitchen with something behind her back and she told Mom. “I ain’t got no ‘ammer.”

Sharon
Mom made schoolbags for Sharon and Michelle and put their initials on each of them. Sharon looked at her S.H. and asked why Mom didn’t finish the rest of her name.

Mom used to find Sharon in Michelle’s crib. One day she watched Sharon get up on the window sills, walk along it and drop into Michelle’s crib.

Michelle
Michelle must have a neat streak in her. Remember the sock drawer in the laundry room? Sharon used to go in there and throw all the socks out and Michelle would come along and put them all away.

Matt
Matt had a strange mark on his chest or belly. Mom wondered what it was then later saw a big spider crawl on Matt’s chest while he was asleep in the crib. She took the mattress off the crib and vacuumed everything.

Luke
Mom told me that when Luke was about five she took him to the doctor. The doctor said how skinny he was and then asked Luke “Don’t you get enough to eat at home?” Luke told him no.

(My aunt Alice is one of my mother's younger sisters. Alice doesn't actually have a ton of memories about my mom—when Alice was seventeen she ran away from home. She came back in to our lives when I was a child.)
Alice:
Alice said she was THE ultimate in mothers! Aunt Alice said that even from an early age and even though your mom was one of the younger children herself, she was always a little mother, to the babies of the family, to stray animals, she was always mothering someone or some thing.

Since so many remember our mom in this way, I tried to get Alice to tell me some other memories, but the only other thing she mentioned may not be *quite* the kind of memory you were looking for! Apparently, for the first few years they were married (or possibly when they were dating?) your Dad's mother used to call your mom of all people.... "The Nazi"! Apparently, it was a reference to our German heritage. Alice could laugh about it now since there was obviously no less Nazi-like person, but it sounded like she (Alice) was a bit perturbed by it at the time.

(My cousin Siobhan is, like many of my cousins, much older than am I. My mother was the middle of eleven kids and I'm on the tail end of fifteen—I graduated school with my own niece, which tells you something about the wide range of ages in my family.)
Siobhan:
I don't know if it's something you want to share, but I was thinking about one of my own memories. Coming back to your folks place after Grandma Sauer's funeral, Roseanne let me drive and I put the car in the ditch, almost rolling it in the process. I don't remember who all was riding with us, but the car was FULL of kids. What I do remember was being upset that I could have been responsible for seriously injuring someone and your mom who I fully expected to be angry with me, took time instead to comfort me and reinforce that while someone might have been hurt, they weren't and there was no sense fretting about "might have beens". When I began worrying that I had wrecked the car, she assured me that Uncle Jack probably already had the car out of the ditch and even if it something was broken, he could fix it. Something about the way she said it made me feel that there was NOTHING he couldn't fix. I didn't fully appreciate that at the time, but now that I've been married 30 years myself, I think I can. My husband is somewhat handy, but more than that, he has always been the rock I lean on, my personal hero, and as I think back to that moment in time, that's the real feeling I got from your mom, that your dad was hers.

I know this will be a difficult Christmas for you all. I hope as you share the many memories people have of your mom you'll feel how alive she is in our hearts and that the love she gave to so many of us over the years wraps you all in its embrace.

(I actually remember this happening! In the backseat of my parents car—a typical four door, mint-green Ford—were me, my twin Chelle, my sisters Randa and Mary, and my brothers Matt and Luke. We were mostly sleeping and didn't really know what was happening until the car was on its side and my cousin, sister, and mother were helping us out. I don't recall any of us really crying about anything aside from 'he stepped on me!')

(Aunt Gerri married my uncle Gene, whose real name is, yes, Maurice. She and my mom became great friends—in face, I didn't know that Aunt Gerri wasn't my blood aunt for years!)
Aunt Gerri:
I remember when I had first met your mother and family, that we were at your folks place, and she put out food. She went to pantry, and opened some canned meat containers, and canned fruit containers. I marveled at her resourcefulness at being able to feed so many, and with such ease. I do not ever remember seeing your mother flustered. She always seemed to do things so easily, even letting me go out and raid her tomatoes in her garden. She was always so calm.
I would ask Gene (Maurice), how can she be so calm, with so many children? He said as far back as he could remember, that was the way she was. God bless her. I always wished I could stay as unflustered as she did.

Gene always marveled at the fact that your mom and I could talk so long on the phone, or when we visited, and I was always so interested and seemed to remember so much about all her kids. We had a closeness and I am grateful for that. When Sally, your Mom and Sallys daughter, came up here about 2 years ago (Sally had a seminar in Anchorage), we got together about 3 times. Your Mom and Gene enjoyed each other so much. I sat back, and got to know Sally well. Your Mom and Gene would walk around our yard remembering their childhood, and Sally and I marveled at how they enjoyed each other, laughed together, and truly let each other know how much they loved each other. It was touching. I am so glad to have that memory.
Your Mom was a wonderful, caring person. We are all blessed to have had her in our lives.

(Aunt Betty is my Mom's youngest sister and my mom was young teenager when she was born. They didn't share space or get close for a long time—something I understand very well because I wasn't truly close to my older sisters until I had kids.)
Aunt Betty:
On the attic/looking for money story: Gene and your Mom were up in the attic of house they grew up in, looking around. They had to light matches to see up there, no insulation anywhere. They happened to see a coin purse somewhere in the framework, and managed to get it. It was empty. They left it there, being disappointed it was empty. Later Gene found out from sister Betty, that they had found it at Grandma Sauer’s house, and hid it in their clothing till they got home, found out it was empty, so hid it in the attic. WHEW..................kids, huh?? When your Mom was telling me about it, in front of Gene, she said.........we lit so many matches, we were lucky we didn’t set the house on fire.

And that she always referred Gene as her favorite brother, because he made some stilts that they enjoyed so much when they were young and on the farm? She always brought up those stilts as far back as I can remember. And you know I am the longest sis-in-law your mom had on her side.
She always welcomed me and my two kids from before marrying Gene, with open arms, and always asked about them when we talked on phone. She was a very caring, loving person. Gene says he and your Mom, and Maxine, they were the sisters closest to him, one older, than he, other younger (your Mom), so they did things, like ride the pigs, calves, jumped from barn hayloft, etc.

I don't remember a lot about my childhood or growing up with Marianne. I just know what a kind and loving person she was. She didn’t make judgments or preach about how others lived their lives. When we saw her in Jan., she gave me an extra long hug and kiss. It was always wonderful to talk with her. She was able to take care of things. She took care of our Mom through her illness and with our Dad in the nursing home in Foley, she was the one there for him too.

(My uncle Greg is the youngest kid from my mom's family. My oldest sisters remember him living with them and working with my dad during summers.)
From Greg:
When I was a young lad about 12 years old I spent a couple of terrific summers on the farm with Marianne and Jack. I will always remember the time I was swinging on the tire swing on that old Box Elder tree, just a few feet west of the front steps. I’m sure some of the kids remember it! One day I was swinging and the dog was pestering me and I was yelling at him. About then Marianne came out of the house and told me, “Don’t just yell at him swear at the son of a bitch.” I couldn’t believe my sister said something like that. I was pretty shocked at the time, but I’ve laughed about it ever since.

(Aunt Virginia was super close to my mom in age. I don't remember them as being really close, however, because by the time I came around, Aunt Gin lived out in Washington. I DO remember my parents going out to visit her, however—they left a ton of kids at home, my older sister Kate was in charge of us all. So she must have loved and missed her a ton to have that kind of trust!)
From Virginia:

When Marianne and I were about 7 and 8 years old I stole a cigarette from out mom. I cut it in half and I gave my favorite sister her half and tried to get her to smoke with me in the out house. She said ok in a while. So I went out and lit up. In a short while Mom showed up with Marianne’s half of the cigarette and a stick. Well, I got a whipping. I think my sister ratted on me!

When we were about 8 and 9 years old we washed dishes every evening. One evening we finished the supper dishes and Marianne noticed a stack of kettles and things our mom used to make jelly. They were sitting on a lower shelf. Marianne said, “Oh no. We had better do those.” She was always trying to lead me down the right path. But I knew better and threw the dish water out and said “We will pretend we didn’t see them.” Well it didn’t take long for Mom to come to the kitchen and tell me I had better hear some more water and finish the dishes. I wonder if my sister ratted me out again!

Well when we were in 7th and 8th grade Marianne finally lead me astray. She thought we should be bad girls and skip school. She seemed to (usually) know best so, of course, I said ok. She told the teacher a lie and said we had to leave school early that day. We left and we were walking down the road and low and behold Marcel M and a couple of other boys stopped and picked us up. I think she had planned this way ahead. It turned out to be a boring day. We drove around for a couple of hours and then went home. We never got caught so I couldn’t even brag about getting in trouble.

This is one of my favorites: It was 2003. We were at Justin and Teri’s (Justin is my cousin, he's just a few years older than I am.) wedding reception and dance. About eight of us were sitting at a round table with a vase of flowers in the middle and when we talked we had to look around the flowers to see on another. Pretty soon Marianne got up, took the flowers and put them under the table and said “I’m tired of looking around these damn flowers when we are trying to talk.” We teased her about it for a long time. After we told that story a few times we had her kicking the flowers under the table. When we got together and had dinner at Greg’s, some one would say take those flowers off the table, you know she hates flowers. People say she’s so sweet. Ha! She enjoyed all the razzing we gave her.

(My uncle Gil lives up in Alaska and has for as long as I can remember. He used to raise Iditarod dogs. He mentions surviving what my mom went through—which he did, sort of. Uncle Gil had an aneurism, not a stroke, but suffered much bleeding in the brain. He has very little damage from this, actually, a fact for which my mother was always very grateful. )
From Gilbert:
To my sister whom I loved more than or at least as much as any of my brothers or sisters: After I survived what you went through (I survived and you did not- that’s not fair!) in 2001, you and Jack came to Alaska. I was at the airport when you arrived. When I met you, you gave me a hug and said, “It’s so good to see you.” Nothing ever meant more to me than those few words. When I called you or you called me we had some of the best talks I’ve ever had with anybody in my life. We talked about anything and everything. We did this many, many, time in the last few years. The one thing that I loved the most about those conversations was what you told me at the end of one of the conversations. You told me that the reason that you liked to talk to me was because, and I quote, “You always make me laugh.” I made you laugh. How much more could a person ask for? How much more could I love my sister? No more!

As for me? There are so many memories I have of my mother that I don't know quite which to share that would get across the kind of mom--and the kind of woman--she was. I think the most telling thing, I think, was that I always knew I was loved and enjoyed. I KNEW my mom enjoyed who I was and loved me even when she wasn't enjoying me. Some of my earliest memories are of her sharing her nap (she spent part of my early years pregnant with my two younger brothers) with me and Chelle. LOL! Some of the only time she ever got to herself and she let me and my twin--in our sweaty, sticky kidness--cuddle up to her and crowd her.

I also remember that she kept her mother's last driver's license. I found it one day poking around and my mom said she kept it because she loved and missed her mom.

Anyhow! Thank you for letting me share that with you!

I love you guys and I'm glad to share today with all of you.